changes and motherhood and love and stuff

I've so enjoyed the time I've had at home with my Nashy boy this summer. It's been a whirlwind, and little busier than expected, but sweet nonetheless. My last semester (!!!) starts in a little over a week, and as much as I'm looking forward to a change in routine, I'm also forgetting that it means more time away from my little side kick, which I'm NOT looking forward to!

The last 4 months of motherhood have been quite the learning experience, and have changed me a lot quicker than I could have ever imagined.

I've always been a planner. Like, SERIOUS planner. I like to know what's going on in my life a week or two (or five) in advance, and I don't do well with things being thrown at me unexpectedly. It makes me frustrated and resentful and a little bit crazy. So yeah, hashtag control freak. Knowing this, you'd probably think new momhood would throw me for a loop, but I've been pleasantly surprised at how I've adjusted. I'm sure it's purely because I love my little man more than life itself, but I'm not losing my mind over the inconsistency! Sure, I know that he needs to eat about every 3 hours during the day, but that's about it. Those are the only sure things in life with him right now, and I'm totally okay with that.

What works today, probably won't work tomorrow! And just when we thought we had Nash and his routine figured out, he will do something like stop napping during the day, and all the sudden I'm like:

"Okay dude. I don't know what I'm doing and you don't know what you're doing and that's fine and we will figure it out together as we go along and pass the ice cream!" 

Or something like that ;) 

I'm amazed at how much love can mold a person into someone entirely new. The old Brooke is still here, obsessed with Josh Groban and animals and Zumba and other weird stuff. But a new Brooke is emerging. She's more mellow and better at rolling with the punches. She loves nothing more than baby talk and shopping for boy clothes, and she spends the better part of each day nursing, covered in spit up, and discussing the poop habits of her 4 month with her husband. It's not glamorous, it's not romantic, and it definitely isn't easy, but it's motherhood for me right now and I love it. My love for this child is all consuming and over the moon, and I'll welcome each and every change it thrusts upon me, in all its poopy glory. 

Love, man. It's an incredible thing. 

update shmupdate

AH!
It feels like things have been running a million miles around here basically since the day Nash was born, and I'm just now finding time here and there to slooooooowwww down. Parenthood I guess?

Anyways, the last month or so has been a good one! Nash and I made our way down to Florida for a month, where we soaked up the last bit of sun, and time with my family, before they move to Michigan. Florida to Michigan, I know right?!

Could you just die over his chubby, pale body in that swimsuit? Heart eyes, seriously. 

Also he loved the pool, which was shocking to all of us. But then again, most content baby ever so....

In the middle of our trip, my cousin got married in D.C., where we then spent a week playing tourist. I miss that wonderful city. I can't believe we were lucky enough to live there!
Nash was amazing the whole time. He hardly fussed, sleeping 7 hours a night, blah blah blah wonderful baby blah blah. I was pinching myself, believe me!

And now we are back in Utah, enjoying time together as our little family of 3 before school and real life starts again. Christian officially accepted a full time job in Salt Lake after we finish in December, so I dare say this is the last of our semi-relaxing student life for a while. It's incredible that after 6 years, it is coming to and end. Admittedly, Provo has a giant piece of my heart I don't think I will ever get back. I love my sweet, weird college town.

Also, I still can't get over the fact that we will be in SLC for several more years.
And I'm a little excited about it?
What's happening to me?!

Now we just need someone to find us an apartment. Any takers? ;)

I'm still here!

Oh hey. 
I feel like such a stranger to this space right now. In the 5 years I've been writing on this silly ol' blog, I've never completely missed a month and not written anything. That gives you an idea of how things have been going around here!

Truth be told, June was a wonderful month. Albeit crazy, but wonderful. My mom left towards the end of May, and about 4 days later, Christian started his new job. The poor guy wakes up at 4:30 and leaves the house at 5 every day, and usually comes home around 6:30 or 7 every night. It's a rough schedule, and we are getting pretty tired of it. But we're halfway there! (Cue Bon Jovi song.)

Also I was taking my capstone class during spring term, and basically I don't know how I survived that by myself all day, with a brand new baby.
Nash is pretty near perfect, that's how.

See what I mean?!

Thankfully my in-laws came into town and kept me company for about a month. It was so fun to have them here and to share our little guy with them! In that same month, I also got to see my little brother and my best friend in the entire world, AND her little baby! Let me tell you, after dreaming with each other for the last 14 years about being married and having children, finally getting together and enjoying that reality was just beyond the best.

Good thing our children didn't make it into the picture.

Life with Nash is so much fun. He really gets better, and cuter, every single day. It's truly amazing how quickly time seems to be flying by, and how little I get done some days ha. It's hard sometimes, and I can get a little lonely and frustrated, but everything you've ever heard about parenting is totally true. It's all worth it. Every hard moment totally evaporates when that little person you love more than anything flashes you a gummy smile. It's so fun to watch this tiny human grow, develop a personality, and experience new things every day.

At 9 weeks, Nash is still just growing like a weed. He's pushing 15 pounds already! He loves being outside and going on walks, laying in the sheets on our bed, and standing (with mom and dad's help of course). He's been sleeping great, eating great, and never cries unless he's too hungry or too tired (totally got that from his mom). Truly, he's such a good baby, and Christian and I are counting our blessings. Not very many first-time parents get that lucky, and we certainly don't deserve it! My only complaint is that he spits up a TON. I mean like 6, 7, 8 times a day. I didn't mind at first, but I'm starting to feel like everything I ever wear always has a giant wet spot on it at all times. Why bother getting dressed, am I right? Oh well, I guess he couldn't be completely perfect, or that just wouldn't be fair ;)

Being a mom is just awesome and crazy and exhausting and fun. I can't believe how much time I spend changing diapers and feeding and holding and rocking and playing with my boy. I'm trying not to stress about keeping our apartment spotless, or always making dinner, or even showering every day. It's hard to balance it all (the theme of the next 20+ years of my life, I imagine!), but it's fun learning how and trying to navigate this new phase of life. I'm super grateful for my little family! These handsome boys make my world go round.

count your blessings

Apparently I'm high on blogging this week. Also known as "my attempt to stay sane as life get's out of control as per the end of the semester", or something like that. It's fine. 

I've been thinking a lot about this the last few days, so I feel like I need to share. 

I may have a craptastic cold, finals are threatening to kill us (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, FINANCE), and I'm dealing with an awesome new pregnancy symptom, blessed sciatica, and we're mega sleep deprived but the blessings have been flowing this week and I'm so freaking thankful!

- We've had some pretty major car issues that have left me in tears more than once the last few weeks. I mean, who can seriously afford car repairs anyways?! So basically it's been one giant ball of stress any time we drive the stupid thing, and we were finally able to get it checked this week and GUESS THE FREAK WHAT. 

A repair that normally would have cost us thousands is still covered under warranty and we are getting the whole thing fixed for free! On top of that, we are driving a great rental car that is completely stress free, and it's just been the best little Christmas gift. 

- We've also been freaking out about the cost of leaving during Christmas break. Because we won't be available to babysit, it was going to cost us several hundred dollars to help pay for a substitute babysitter, which is money we ain't rollin in because hello. New semester. Baby. Doctor visits all the freaking time. Car. You get it. So when our friends Claira and Steven (also known as the champs of the world), said they'd be free to help us out, I may shed a tear or two of gratitude. I can't even tell you how much stress this alleviated!

- We got to take a mid-week break yesterday and have dinner with some dear friends. Let me tell you, nothing will warm your heart quicker than some NOM beef stew and endless conversation with friends you love. It was a much welcomed and much needed break!

- I'm super in love with my research methods class and I'm sad the semester is ending because my friends have been so wonderful! What started as a total armpit of a class has turned into something fun and inspirational, and it's made me work my tail off but I've really enjoyed it. I didn't see that one coming, but it's been awesome!

- Also, season 4 of White Collar is finally on Netflix and for reals I almost passed out from excitement when i found out. It's taking a lot of self control to not binge-watch, but we are enjoying and episode and a cuddle sesh here and there and it's such a treat.

- I definitely felt little boy move for the first official time today (!!!) and it's absolutely killing me. I was just sitting at work and all the sudden I felt my stomach twitch like crazy and I was all "weird I wonder if I'm dehydrated?" (NATURALLY). Then I stopped for a sec and payed closer attention. Then it happened again and I am 1000% sure it was him! Too precious.

And finally, here's a wonderful quote by President Hinckley to basically sum up all my feelings. I hope this touches you as much as it did me:

“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."

missionaries, scary children and another week at the Carter house

This week has been the strangest. 

Not because of anything in particular, but you know when your schedule gets changed JUST enough to make things feel different? Yeah, that. 

Anyways, last Saturday we went and saw the dance performance Thriller, which was good but also a little too macabre for my taste. Children were dancing around with knives while dressed as Chucky at one point, so yeah. Maybe that's why I wasn't the hugest fan. 

BUT. I won the tickets (my very first giveaway entry and I won those dang tickets. Baller), so I couldn't be too mad because, well, free stuff. 

We also carved pumpkins on Monday and they are already about 50% moldy, so I feel like another round of pumpkin carving is necessary. Also we had Halloween donuts from Krispy Kreme, so that was definitely a winning night. We've also been watching the Twilight Zone every day, so I guess we are in full-on creepy Halloween mode over here.

Then Mckay came into town on Tuesday because HE WENT INTO THE MTC THIS WEEK.

(I'm still dying over this. To me, he will always be the 5 year old boy who loved pirates and trucks and only wore camo outfits)
He is such a grown up man now, and it's so fun to talk with him and truly see how prepared he is for this mission. I'm so proud to be his sister, and truthfully... I look up to him so much!

He's the cutest, and I'm so happy we got to spend time with him this week! Brazil is so lucky to have him.

(And I have to admit, I'm a little tempted to go hang out by the MTC because I miss him that much already!)

Also let's take a moment and be proud of me because even though I cried when we said goodbye, it was a surprisingly composed cry.... which I was not expecting!

Also, this morning was the craziest. 

First, I only got about 5 hours of sleep, which is bad news bears for this girl. 

(Seriously I was so mad about it when I woke up that I contemplated kicking a hole in the wall. No. I'm not kidding. In case you ever wondered if I'm grouchy when I don't sleep enough, wonder no more!
And protect your walls!!) 

Then, we had to babysit... which means getting 2 little rascals out the door for school at 2 different times, while simultaneously getting ready for the day, and making lunches, and other stuff. Also dropping Christian off on campus somewhere in the middle of it all. 

*PHEW I'm out of breath just typing that.* 

Then, I had to clean up puke for 30 straight minutes. Also, I slipped in it which seriously. The worst.

Also, I have two mammoth midterms due on Monday that are also group projects,which are simultaneously the two worst things ever. I was stressed about all this, so I bought myself Panda Express for lunch because ORANGE CHICKEN. Also, crappy chinese food just makes things better sometimes!

And one more funny note. 
Remember in my last post how I mentioned the littlest midget called Pocahontas "Poke-the-hontas"?
Well things got even funnier the other day when she called it
"HAUNTED-HONTAS".
One thing is for sure. We are never short on laughs over here!

And so if you haven't guessed by now, today I'm feeling a little weird and slightly worn out.

But I'm so so thrilled that it's the weekend! 

They always seem to come at the perfect time, you know?

september is weird

School is in session, everything on pinterest these days is Halloween related, and we've got an apple spice air freshener in our apartment. 

And then I walk outside and it's still 9000 degrees. 

Fall won't hurry up and summer won't leave, it won't stop raining, and it's just the strangest mash-up of seasons here in Utah right now. I guess I can't complain. 

At least it's not snowing.

So speaking of school... it's been quite the eventful last few days! Christian is balancing two jobs this semester, and of course classes for both of us. Ah it never ends! We had our first official break down a few days ago, so that should mean the semester's in full swing right?

Right. 

Other things: 

We watched Barefoot in the Park last weekend, and I highly recommend it.....
if you're looking for a weird movie that makes you laugh about newlywed nuances and crazy people like Jane Fonda.
(I guess "crazy " and "newlywed" go hand in hand many times, amiright?)

How's this for a glimpse into marriage?!

Also can we talk about Hobby Lobby for a minute? We ventured there for the first time ever last night and I was blown away by the awesome fall and halloween decorations... Until I saw the price tags.
I mean, $300 for a wreath!?! Is there anything even worth getting there?
Please fill me in, Hobby Lobby enthusiasts.
Because I WANT to love that place but I just can't stomach those prices!

Finally, we've had some great things go on for our family in the last few weeks. After a seemingly endless summer and several of the worst months in the history of ever, I have to say that this fall and winter are shaping up to be
SO. VERY. AWESOME.
And basically I'm bursting to share more. Alas, it will have to wait!
Until next time!

change and fall and school and things

School starts on Tuesday.

This is going to be the last fall semester that I have a full load of classes.

It's a strange feeling. I love school so much, but there are some days when it feels like my time here at BYU will never end. And yet here we are. 2 semesters away from just that. It's wonderful and sad all at the same time, and it's given me an even greater sense of needing and wanting to soak up literally everything as much as possible, especially during fall semester, which is my most cherished time of year. 

I've been making tons of lists lately. 

Lists of fall activities. 

Places to camp. 

Foods to eat. 

Halloween parties to plan

Mountains to climb. 

Trips to go on. 

Goals. 

Wishes. 

Somehow, list making and goal setting makes me feel a lot better about life. It gives me direction and order, two things I crave, especially when life gets busy. I love starting a new school year by doing just that.

And I must say, as much as I adore summer, I've decided I adore fall even more. 

For me, the season feels like coming home. It's full of comfort and familiarity, which  happen to be two other things I desperately crave. I know that mid-semester, I'm going to loath the constant mountain of school work hanging over mine and Christian's heads, stealing away precious time. Right now however, I'm welcoming autumn with open arms

I think I'm finally ready for September, with her lingering warmth and chilly evenings, her smell that hints at an impending change. Her football games, her ability to lure me into mellow music and hot chocolate and premature Halloween decorating.

I'm ready for October, with her crunchy leaves and brisk wind. Her thrill because "Halloween is just around the corner!", and the fact that each day of the month feels magical to me. October is my favorite. 

I think I love the changing season so much because sometimes, I just crave change. And fall brings just enough of it that it leaves me feeling refreshed without simultaneously feeling the need to overhaul my whole life. 

And that's just the perfect amount of change, you know?

a reluctant sprint to the end of summer

Life is strange sometimes. 

Lately it feels like time is zooming by, and we are reluctantly zooming right along with it. School starts in a short 15 days (AGH!), and with it, a whole new slew of responsibilities. And yet, when I look back at all that has transpired this summer, it's seemed to last forever. 

See? Strange. 

Despite this being the busiest summer of my life, I wish it wouldn't end. I love these long days. The hot sun. The lack of school responsibilities looming over our heads. I guess I will just be praying for a long, glorious fall so we can keep enjoying the sunshine (read: happiness) as long as possible before it's time to hibernate. 

But, I'm getting ahead of myself. 

In light of..... well.... a few "summer bummers" that hit in June and July, Christian and I decided we were in need of a break. Desperate need. Like "a few breakdowns short of visiting crazy town" need ha! So last week we loaded up our car and headed south, where we spent the next five days camping in Sand Hollow State Park, hiking in Zion, swimming, and just generally enjoying life and loving each other. It was a little piece of heaven.

We match all the time, so that's good.

 Quaint little campsite. And that view!!!

Angel's landing.
Which should also be called "don't ever do this hike or it might just give you a hernia and you'd rather be dead than finish"

You see that giant mountain and those perilous drops behind Christian?
Yeah. 
You are supposed to hike that. 
And guess what. The only way you can make it is by HANGING ON TO CHAINS THE WHOLE TIME.
Yeah, thanksbutnothanks.

This is not feigned terror, you guys!
Okay maybe a little.
Seriously though, when we tried to hike that last mile, my body was literally seizing up because I was so freaked out. Like, verging-on-panic-attack kind of freaked out.

Get a load of this hunk! No wonder the last week was so much fun!
*    *    *

So I've never really considered myself the camping type.
(Probably because the only time I've done it in the last 10 years was at girls camp when I was 17. And even though I totally peed in the woods, I feel like that doesn't count.)
Anyways, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I loved it. Granted I'm sure it helped that there was a shower and we slept on an air mattress and we brought tons of good food.......
Baby steps people. Baby steps. 

a photoshoot

Here are some more pictures from our little shoot with Sam last weekend. 

Aka brace yourself for a little photo over load.
Aaaaand here we go!

snap shot from our weekend

 The talented Samantha Kelly took some pictures for us on Friday night and I'm officially in love with them.

Here's a little sneak peak!

Also my brother Ty is in town, so basically I'm in heaven. Happy Saturday all!

holiday hangover, how 'bout you?

I love the 4th of July like any normal person, but sometimes it just feels like a holiday where we are expected to run ourselves ragged, eat too much potato salad, and get stuck in traffic jams. 3 things which I'm normally NOT all about. (Read: that's exactly what we did yesterday and I vow to never do it again!)

I'm not ready to let the party stop however 

(Look at me just a-eatin my words....)

and tonight we are going to a FREE. OUTDOOR. CONCERT. 

Those are 3 of my favorite words, aside from "puppies", "cheesecake" and "fofo", which is the Spanish word for squishy, which I think is hilarious. Also my darling lover will be at said concert with me so.... win win. Maybe we will kiss a little bit. (False. That's not a maybe, that's a definite.) And then I will officially be the happiest camper in the world, despite my post-independence-day-hangover.

(Although I'm thinking Will Smith officially wins the award for "worst-independence-day-hangover-in-the-whole-entire-world-also-universe-also-I'm-Will-Smith-sodon'teventry".)

Anyways, this post is obviously on the fast track to nowhere, so......

Here is a version of the national anthem by one of my most favoritest bands in the history of ever never ever never land. Enjoy. 'Murica.

summer in p-town

I present to you:

Plastic Head, aka Dan Cox.

Basically we just thought he looked way over manicured, and, well.....

Plastic.

Also he never talked, until he randomly ordered Des a pizza, which we also thought was very plastic of him.

So now you know!

Anyways.....

 As the weekend is upon us, I've been thinking a lot about going out on dates with my husband.
As much as I love spending time with JUST Christian,

sometimes we struggle finding cool things to do as a couple. 

And although we love browsing Target, eating out, watching netflix, and going to the gym, you can only have so many of those date nights, you know?!

#marriedpeopleproblems

Thankfully, we made some wonderful friends while we lived in DC, and we reunited last weekend!

First stop, the rooftop concert series in downtown Provo. 

One of the valley's best kept summertime secrets. 

If you currently live in Utah, or plan to anytime in the future... GO!

The next day we trekked through Spanish Fork canyon to the hot springs. 

Let me tell you something:

It was super awesome, but I don't recommend wearing converse with no socks for the almost 5 mile hike. 

Not that I did that or anything.....

I also recommend showering right after you get home.
I didn't (don't ask me why)
and I smelled very strongly of egg salad the next morning.
SO SEXY!

Utah sure is a nasty B during the winter time, but I have to admit....

I am quite enjoying this summer so far!