welcome baby Faye pt. 1

Life right now can be summarized in this one statement: it's taken me 4 months to write this blog post. Haha!
And without further ado, here is the first part of little girl's birth story!
(And probably don't hold your breath for part 2... at the rate I'm going, she'll be 16 and I'll finally have it finished lolololololol)

About a week before delivery. 

Being cool at the height of pregnancy brain and showing up at the gym in my flip flops

We found out at about 34 weeks that she was breech. How I didn't realize this before is beyond me, because her hard, round little head was in my ribs for couple months ha! For whatever reason (pregnancy exhaustion?), I didn't feel the need to try hard and flip her on my own. I think she was probably too big at this point for that to happen anyways, but you never know I guess. We scheduled an external cephalic version at the hospital at about 36 weeks to see if my doctor could flip her, and to no avail. With two adults putting their entire body weight on my stomach (it was as unpleasant as it sounds), she didn't move an INCH. This is seeming very consistent with her personality so far haha. She wants things how she wants them! So, we scheduled my C-section for June 20, a week before my original due date.

No baby flippage!

Honestly, I was worried for weeks that I wasn't going to last all the way to a scheduled C-section. Little miss was footling breech... both of her feet were RIGHT in my pelvis in a very precarious place. Nash and I were going on tons of walks, and every time we were out, I panicked a little because she'd kick so so much. It hurt like crazy, and felt like her feet were about to pop out haha. The reason why that was so concerning is that with feet-first breech babies, if you go in to labor or your water breaks, you have about ten minutes to get to the hospital or you and the baby can be in serious danger. Footling breech babies can get stuck in the birth canal very easily, or the cord can prolapse, which completely cuts off oxygen supply to the baby. So basically I was stressed out of my mind about going in to labor on my own or my water breaking. And my instincts were telling me that that was VERY close to happening. Turns out, my thinking wasn't too far off ha!

Sunday, at 37 1/2 weeks, I started having a lot of contractions. After hours of timing them, we were a little worried we'd be making a trip to the hospital that night. They weren't calming down at all! They finally subsided, but I was pretty sure my body was moving riiiight along. Thankfully my mom had followed her motherly instincts and left Arizona to come stay with us that weekend, earlier than she had originally planned. Her timing couldn't have been more perfect! The next day, I had my final appointment with the OB. Surprisingly, they weren't even going to do an exam, but I asked them to and they obliged. I will NEVER forget the nurse's reaction. She looked at me and said in a very worried voice "Have you been dilated at all?" I said "yes, but only a 2" thinking she was going to tell me I wasn't dilated at all haha. She then said "Well you're now at a 5 with a BULGING bag of waters" hahahaha. I'm sorry for the gross imagery, but that was just so funny (and shocking) to me. I was so so close to being in labor! The nurse asked when the last time was that I had eaten, said she was going to go get the doctor and told me not to drink anything and do NOT leave. Suddenly I realized this was HAPPENING. Like asap! So exciting and crazy! My dr. came back into the room and basically said "We'd really like to admit you tonight, but I'm not available to do the surgery. So we are scheduling you first thing tomorrow morning for your C-Section."

So there it was! Baby Faye was on her way! The whole rest of that day felt surreal. It's very strange with a scheduled cesarean, because you know the exact time that it's all going to happen. So different from my experience with Nash, and in a lot of ways, I really loved it. I spent the rest of that afternoon just laying down pretty much, because literally anything could have broken my water at that point haha. We went to bed that night and it felt like Christmas eve. Our 4:30am alarm was brutal, but we were so excited.... we were finally going to meet our little girl!

the final countdown

I wouldn't say that I'm incredibly sentimental, but I am a big "last" person.
"This is our last night in x location, we need to paaarty!"
"This is the last day of vacation, we must do ALL the things!"
"This is the last time we will be able to eat at our favorite restaraunt, let's order EVERYTHING!"
And so forth.

The current series of "lasts" that I'm reveling in are, of course, my final few weeks with just Nash as my sidekick. It's making me so much more sentimental than I thought it would!

(Ironically as I'm typing this, we are having it out over a truck that he thinks needs fixing, and after pretending to do so for the last ten minutes, he's NOT satisfied with my efforts. I spoke crossly, he hurled it across the room. Sooooo you win some, you lose some)

Anyways, bad attitudes aside (his and mine ha), I'm loving my time with him right now. The last few weeks, we've been going to the park almost every day. He helps me push the stroller, runs around like a maniac, and I throw the frisbee for him to chase (like a literal dog, I know. This is how you burn the crazy energy of a two year old when you're 8 months pregnant!). Around the house, he helps me vacuum and we stack blocks to his hearts content. When I can get him to sit still long enough, we will squeeze in a book and sing some primary songs, usually before bed time. He's also loving the new JT song and music video (you're welcome, son), and we jam to it a lot of the day. It's nothing huge, but even simple errands like trips to the doctor and the grocery store are made so much better by him.
Here's to hoping it all keeps going that way with a new little one around!

a first and last pregnancy update

It's high time I did a little in-depth pregnancy update, seeing as how I've only got about 5 weeks left! Yikes! I've tried to keep track of little things in my journal, but physically writing is so much slower than typing, so that's been a bit painstaking haha. Anyways, here ya go! Let's start with a super glam belly shot, shall we?

How far along? 
Almost 34 weeks! The last time I went to the doc, I told them about delivering an almost 9 lb baby a week and a half early. They were like "yeeeaaahh we probably won't let you go all the way to 40 weeks" which is so freaking awesome. I'd love to avoid induction and just let other things do the work, but we will see. Either way, baby girl will be here sooner than later and we can't wait!

Weight gain: 
I'm not really sure of an exact number because I hardly ever weigh myself. Who really needs to feel chubby and then have a number CONFIRM "yep, you're definitely chubby"? Not me haha! Since I wasn't throwing up nearly as much as I did with Nash, I didn't lose weight in the beginning. Which was good and bad, of course. I'd guess I will end having gained about 30-35 lbs. Pretty sure I'm sitting at about 27 lbs. now. Which is fine because PREGNANCY!

Sleep: 
So so crappy ha. Much worse than when I was pregnant with Nash. I actually don't mind too much because the shock of having a newborn who doesn't know how to sleep really won't be THAT shocking. I'm up 3-4 times a night right now as is!

Best moment of the week: 
Nash FINALLY acknowledged there is a baby in mom's tummy! I'm pretty sure he still doesn't know what that means, of course haha, but he talks about it now and it's super cute. He just runs a million miles an hour most of the time that I'm honestly surprised it happened at all. Knowing his little boy brain, he probably thinks it's a truck baby or something ;)

Weird pregnancy moment: 
All the rando aches and pains, everywhere below my belly. My body hurts this time around WAY more than with Nash. It's always strange to me when I feel something super painful all the sudden. I'm like "wtf there are nerves there?!". Also my hair is seriously out of control. I forgot how fast it grew and how thick it got with my first pregnancy, which was great when I had long hair. But I seriously need it cut and thinned out like every 3 weeks right now, otherwise I have a super poofy mullet ha! It's a good problem to have I guess, and it's a good thing I fiiinnnaallly found a stylist I love because I'm there like A. LOT. haha.

Movement:
All. The. Time. It used to be way more frequent when she had a little more room, but it hasn't even slowed down that much haha. Both Christian and I feel like this little girl is going to be a mover and a shaker (in more ways than one!). She's definitely proving to be that way so far. Dare I say she even moves more than I remember Nash moving? Which is a little scary because have you seen that kid? Running. Everywhere. Nonstop. I guess it's good little sister will be able to keep up!

Cravings:
Lots of sugar, but thankfully I don't feel that craving all the time. Mostly just when I get too hungry. Otherwise they'd be rolling me into the delivery room.

Queasiness?
This comes and goes, all the time, any time. This morning the taste of my cereal made me queasy! In this regard, I've felt so much worse this time around. I've definitely been much sicker through the whole pregnancy. The difference in those male and female hormones are so real, let me tell you! One more reason why I will be SO excited for baby girl's arrival.

What I'm looking forward to:
Honestly, I can't wait to NOT be pregnant. This has been such a butt kicker for me. Of course, I'm so thankful to be carrying a baby. But I've been pretty miserable this whole pregnancy and it will be awesome when it's over. That, and I can't wait for Nash and Christian to meet her. I'm pretty positive it's going to kill me with happiness.

Alright.
Since I've officially dedicated one whole post to this pregnancy, can I just have this baby now or what? Because if she is any bit as precious as her big brother, than we are in big trouble... in the best possible way!

a little trip with my little schweetie

It feels so strange to be back on this blog. My journal has been staring me in the face for months now, and as much as I'd love to physically write, carpal tunnel has been giving me hell this pregnancy. So I'm resorting to this, and typing as fast as I can before my hand stops working ha.
(Seriously though. Carpal tunnel is like the WORST.)

There have been lots of things I've wanted and intended to blog about over the last 7 months. I regret it now, because life has taken some twists and I know it would have helped me to record those thoughts. However, I really haven't been in a great place to do so (more on that...... at some point......) and so I've just avoided it haha. Last week however, Christian and I were able to take off for 2 days for a little trip together and it was the best both of us have felt in a long time. With my terrible mom/pregnancy brain, I'm already forgetting a lot of what we did and it was such a sweet trip that I know I'd regret that forever. So I just wanted to take the time and record it all, boring details and everything. More for the sake of he and I than anyone else. Because let's be real, does anyone even check this dusty ol' blog anymore?

Anyways. Word vomit. Now for the fun part :)

In celebration of our 4 year anniversary, a little babymoon, and (almost) surviving this pregnancy together, we took off and went to the Fairmont Princess in Scottsdale for a few days. It was so wonderful! Our first day started with lunch at Tia Rosas, our fav little Mexican joint in Arizona. I love going to lunch with Christian. We go out to dinner for most of our date nights, so that's lost its novelty in some ways. Lunch is just fun and special time in the middle of the day that we don't normally have together, and that was such a fun way to start things off. Afterwards, we went and walked around Chandler mall together. Purchased a bath bomb at Lush, sampled a bunch of oil and vinegars... cool stuff haha. Then we drove to the hotel, and I'm pretty sure I made Christian listen to summer hits of the 90's with me the whole way, which he definitely loved ;)

The hotel was so freaking beautiful. Huge grounds with lots of gorgeous vegetation, so much so that it felt more like a tropical resort more than desert. We were upgraded to a casita when we got there, which was a fun little surprise. They were tucked away at the back of the hotel with their own little pool and everything. Our room and bathroom were huge! Not that we needed it, but it's always nice to have more space :) We hung out in our room for a little while, and then hit the town like the wild children we are (except not! haha!). We were staying pretty close to the hotel we were in right after we got married, so we ventured down to that area and window shopped a bit before dinner. It was really fun to reminisce about our wedding day and the few days that followed. We ended up eating dinner at the exact same place we ate when we were there before too, AND were sat in the exact same spot outside. Not the biggest deal, but I'm such a sucker for sentiment, and it made me (us) super happy. A lot has changed in the last 4 years. For starters, we were able to get two whole meals instead of just sharing one haha. Those were some poor, humble days! We were feeling extra healthy and adventurous, and ordered some kale-aid..... which was disgusting, in my humble opinion. Christian, ever the gentleman, finished mine and felt very energized for the rest of the night haha. It wasn't super late at this point, but super tired pregnant lady can't handle much these days, so we headed back to the casita. After indulging in the BEST bubble bath (I hate that our apartment only has a shower!), we watched a little Stephen Colbert and went to bed. Romance, people!

The next day was awesome. We were able to sleep in a little longer than normal (which was only about 8am, but still!) and went to the yummiest little cafe for a late breakfast. After we finished, we hurried back for a little R&R by the pool. We heard it was beautiful, and they weren't lying! I think we were lucky with the dates we went too, because it was relatively peaceful and quiet, which was AWESOME. I loved this part of the trip. Getting to just sit and chat with Christian, read a little, people watch, float around in the pool without my back or hips aching.... paradise, let me tell you. And if the drinks hadn't been $10 bucks a pop?! THAT would have been absolute perfection ;)

After a few hours at the pool, we headed back to our room (house?) to clean up for dinner. This is another mark of a good vacation: not showering until 4 in the afternoon ha! We drove about 30 minutes to another favorite place of ours, trusty ol' Shake Shack. We ate at this place in New York, many many times in DC, and in both Miami and Boca with our families when they were still east coasters. It's not so much that the food is amaze-balls (although, it is pretty darn good). But it holds a lot of fun memories for us. I'm so glad there's one in Arizona now! While we were at dinner, we started tackling our massive list of baby girl names, and actually made so much progress! It's so fun planning for the arrival of little miss. Christian is especially excited, and it makes my heart burst. We did a little more shopping, and ended up in Baby Gap (which is another very standard occurrence haha. Can't keep us away!). We picked out a few things on sale for both kiddos, and laughed the whole time. It's so fun doing things like that together. After getting back to the hotel, we ended up out by the pool again, and we were the only ones there! It was perfect. Swimming at night in the dry Arizona heat is one of my favorite things, and it was all the more fun with Christian. We talked about more baby names, dug around on the internet for background information, and narrowed it down to the last 4 names we like the most! (Our approach now is getting the opinions of each of our families, because we honestly like all names equally! It's been fun to hear everyone weigh in and we are definitely getting closer!). After the pool, we indulged in another bubble bath (can't stop!), watched Diners, Drive In's and Dives (also can't stop with the dumb tv haha) and called it a night.

The last morning was a little more rushed, but still so fun to just have Christian to myself. We got ready pretty promptly and walked around the grounds to take some pictures. Self timers are embarrassing, but so so handy haha. On our drive back to my parents house, we stopped at Sprinkles for some cupcakes, another favorite of ours. I couldn't even begin to tell you how many times we went there while we lived in DC, which is pretty gross haha. I was feeling very anxious and excited to see Nash again, so we hurried more than we probably should have. It's hard for me to balance between mama bear and passionate wife, but I'm working on it ;) I'm so thankful for a heaven-sent mother who was willing to watch our little crazy so we could go have that time together! It was the best marriage therapy, and exactly what we needed after a very grueling period of time for our little fam.

And this guy. Oh this guy!!!! It's really cool to watch our relationship keep changing and growing each passing year. While a big part of me pines for our newlywed days, when it was just the two of us, we were obsessed with each other, and had SO much more time together.... it's pretty amazing to be walking through each phase of life together. Building a career, raising a family, healing through heartbreak and pain, working through finances, aligning our goals, serving, playing, crying, laughing.... we are a team through it all. And while life can (and has been) one big suck fest a lot of the time, Christian has taught me a few things that I will forever cherish: First, it's so important to cling to the ones you love. He is so wonderful about wanting to set aside our differences and just work through problems TOGETHER. He never retreats, never gets mad at me for feeling a certain way, never raises his voice, and never lets things sit uncomfortably between us for too long. It's hard for me to deal with sometimes, but I always appreciate his desires for us to love each other through the crap instead of running away. He's also the best about finding ways to laugh, and making ME laugh, when things are tough. It was the first thing I noticed and loved about him, and I love it even more now because it has saved me so many times. He's not perfect and he drives me crazy sometimes, but he's perfect FOR ME and I honestly couldn't have married someone better. Since you will probably be the only one who reads this (haha!), I love you my darling husband! Thank you for whisking me away and celebrating the life we are creating together. It's really messy a lot of the time, but it's also a dream. And there isn't anyone I'd rather share it with. Love you forever!

adventures with airbnb

Good thing I'm such a good blogger! It's whatever ha.

Nash is like "wtf guys"

So when we went to Yellowstone back in July, we decided that our cheapest option would be non-hotel. Which left us with camping (with a one year old, no thank you!), or something like airbnb/vrbo (so many acronyms!). Airbnb it was! Our first night we stayed in Rexburg, and it was great. Except for the large collection of stuffed animals, it seemed like your run-of-the-mill basement apartment.

Enter our second night in Gardiner, Montana.

Alright, so going into this, we knew it had the potential to be uncomfortable. It was a single room in this family home, and it was um... friendly. Like share the kitchen all together friendly. I knew we would be in and out quick, so I honestly didn't care. I was definitely second guessing myself upon our arrival, however.

Out walks our host *Edgar, and I know we are in for an adventure. He's a snaggly tooth feller, absolutely reeking of cigarettes. He welcomes us, and proceeds to show us to our room, which coincidentally was right next to the room that their newborn daughter was sleeping in. Oy. I don't think he was too pleased to see Nash with us, because after Christian went out to the car to get the rest of our stuff, I heard Edgar say to his mother in law: "And they have a one year old."

Her response: "OH NO."

Feeling right at home!
And speaking of mother in laws, theirs lived with them. Also she was Bulgarian, and spoke almost no English. It wasn't hard to interpret her feelings about Nash being there with us however. Eyes are the window to the soul after all, and her soul was full of daggers and other sharp things each time I looked at her and attempted a feeble smile. Double oy. Also, the house still smells terribly like a casino.

So by this time, it's about 7:45pm and Nash has gone literally all day without a nap. We proceeded to put him down, our plan being as soon as he fell asleep, we could just go hang out in our car and read for an hour or so, and then we'd head to bed as well (since we were all sleeping in the same room). I don't know guys, really shooting from the hip in that situation! So of course Nash took a bit to calm down and stop jabbering enough to fall asleep. I didn't feel comfortable leaving him inside while he was awake and being "loud", so we literally just SAT IN THE HALLWAY pretending not to watch the SNL episode Edgar had playing, while he awkwardly ignored us. This would have been fine and good, had we not been sitting only about 50 feet from him.

I'm still dying that we did this. Seriously, laugh-crying emoji for days.

After 20 excruciating minutes of whisper-talking and trying to avoid making eye contact with Edgar, Nash was finally asleep and we felt comfortable going and sitting in the car (which was only a marginally less weird thing to do than sitting in the hallway, at this point.). THEN another family shows up, Asian of course, and we were like "WTF are we now sharing a bathroom with another family?!". Thankfully no. This casino house was just steadily turning in to a hotel. Because every good casino is also a hotel of course!

So after retardedly sitting in the car for about a half hour, we decided to be productive and fill up with gas and get ice for our cooler, lest we dawdle in Gardiner Montana any longer in the morning than we have to. I force Christian to be the errand-runner, as the ever pushy wife,while I head back in to casino de la Edgar and proceed to get ready for bed. Their newborn is still sleeping, as is Nash, so I'm tiptoeing and trying to go as fast as possible without being seen, because Edgar is still watching SNL and in eyesight of everything I'm doing. Nothing like letting a stranger see you run around IN HIS HOUSE in your pajamas, am I right?!

About 15 minutes later, I get a call from Christian. He has locked his keys in the car, because of course he has! So he's currently trying to find his was back to casino de la Edgar (FOLLOW YOUR NOSE, HONEY!), while I sit in silence in our dark room (lest I wake Nash) trying not to move (lest I sweat to death because again, no AC!) and wait for Christian to tell me to come outside and give him the keys. This is approximately the 18th time we've gone in and out the front door, and I now have flesh wounds all over my body from the shade Bulgarian mother-in-law is throwing with her dagger eyes. At this point, that is the least of my worries. I'm pretty sure I'm going to die of heat exhaustion and second hand smoke any minute.

ONE HOUR LATER Christian finally returned, lucky to find me alive and not drowning in a pool of my own sweat. I have been sitting in dark silence in the room by myself this whole time, and I've never been so happy to see another human. This is only a slight exaggeration. Except by the time Christian actually climbs into bed with me, I'm practically building a fort of pillows around myself lest our skin make any contact as we slowly burn to death... I mean, drift off to sleep.

The morning went much more smoothly. Bright and early wake-up call, silent showers, sneaking out unseen.... we were basically spies. Honestly the whole experience didn't seem terrible as it was happening, just super funny honestly. It's definitely something to laugh about in hindsight. And laugh and laugh and laugh we do.