I must start with a disclaimer.
This post has the potential to be a little TMI.
But it was so funny that I was crying tears of laughter, AND I got Christian's permission to share it...
So obviously I have to.
If you decide to keep reading... you've been warned....
So a few days ago, we got home and commenced our winding down routine.
I was in the bedroom changing and Christian was taking care of some business in the bathroom.
(This is how you know it's about the get awkward!)
All of the sudden, I hear him go:
"What the?!? WHAT THE?!?!"
So then I'm like:
"Oh no, he's going to show me something crazy going on in the toilet.
GREAT"
But then he comes out of the bathroom, and proceeds to moon me
(rude!)
And he's like
"LOOK!
WHAT HAPPENED?!
WHAT IS THIS?!"
And that's when I see this big white thing stuck to his bum.
And I'm like
"Gosh hun, it's just toilet paper, you just need to wipe better..."
But then I look more carefully...
And then I get closer and realize it's DEFINITELY not toilet paper....
A giant wad of gum was literally stuck to and smeared all over his fanny.
At some point during the day, poor Christian must have sat on a toilet,
right on someone's misplaced gum!
So then, quick on my feet, I'm like:
"Get the peanut butter!"
(Because that's supposed to work right??)
And then the nature of this situation hit me.
Here is my husband, pants around his ankles, with gum stuck to his derriere.
And I'm about to smear peanut butter all over his bum to get it off.
It was at this point that I literally lost it.
I was laughing.
SO.
HARD.
For like a straight minute.
While poor Christian just stands there with gum stuck to his butt, waiting for my help.
I mean,
he had a HUGE piece of gum stuck to his bare bottom!
How could I not be dying?!
So then I finally collect myself, and I realize rubbing peanut butter all over his bum is probably more messy than helpful.
So what do we do?
Bust out the scissors.
And carreeefffulllyy, meticulously, pick it all off.
(The gum was still moist, by the way. I would totally slaughter the person who did that if it wasn't so dang hilarious)
After about 5 minutes of "REMOVAGE" we finally got it all off.
Christian went to take a detox shower, naturally....
while I, even more naturally,continued to cry tears of laughter.
And all the while, my dear husband laughed along with me and had the best attitude.
Bless him.
And the moral of the story?
If you are going to spit your gum into a toilet,
make sure you check to see where it lands.
So obviously I have to.
If you decide to keep reading... you've been warned....
So a few days ago, we got home and commenced our winding down routine.
I was in the bedroom changing and Christian was taking care of some business in the bathroom.
(This is how you know it's about the get awkward!)
All of the sudden, I hear him go:
"What the?!? WHAT THE?!?!"
So then I'm like:
"Oh no, he's going to show me something crazy going on in the toilet.
GREAT"
But then he comes out of the bathroom, and proceeds to moon me
(rude!)
And he's like
"LOOK!
WHAT HAPPENED?!
WHAT IS THIS?!"
And that's when I see this big white thing stuck to his bum.
And I'm like
"Gosh hun, it's just toilet paper, you just need to wipe better..."
But then I look more carefully...
And then I get closer and realize it's DEFINITELY not toilet paper....
IT'S GUM.
A giant wad of gum was literally stuck to and smeared all over his fanny.
At some point during the day, poor Christian must have sat on a toilet,
right on someone's misplaced gum!
So then, quick on my feet, I'm like:
"Get the peanut butter!"
(Because that's supposed to work right??)
And then the nature of this situation hit me.
Here is my husband, pants around his ankles, with gum stuck to his derriere.
And I'm about to smear peanut butter all over his bum to get it off.
It was at this point that I literally lost it.
I was laughing.
SO.
HARD.
For like a straight minute.
While poor Christian just stands there with gum stuck to his butt, waiting for my help.
I mean,
he had a HUGE piece of gum stuck to his bare bottom!
How could I not be dying?!
So then I finally collect myself, and I realize rubbing peanut butter all over his bum is probably more messy than helpful.
So what do we do?
Bust out the scissors.
And carreeefffulllyy, meticulously, pick it all off.
(The gum was still moist, by the way. I would totally slaughter the person who did that if it wasn't so dang hilarious)
After about 5 minutes of "REMOVAGE" we finally got it all off.
Christian went to take a detox shower, naturally....
while I, even more naturally,continued to cry tears of laughter.
And all the while, my dear husband laughed along with me and had the best attitude.
Bless him.
And the moral of the story?
If you are going to spit your gum into a toilet,
make sure you check to see where it lands.
4 comments:
SO sad and SO funny at the same time. I would have died haha
I had little faith that it would be the most hilarious story I would literally ever read. But it was. That was dang funny.
HAHAHAHA!!! Love this!! This could be a scene in a comedy sitcom! :)
Okay... sitting in the SWKT right now, trying not to laugh... too loud... or hold back my own tears of laughter. Hands down the funniest thing I've heard all day. Your hubby's a good sport. So funny. :)
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