I have been a total drama queen lately, sorry about that. I just really feel things. A lot. Ha!
So I'm gaining a new appreciation for weekends as this semester progresses and continues to drown us (Christian) in mountains of pointless STUFF. Not like I didn't love them before. Obviously. But they are as good as gold these days.
Last weekend was nothing special, but having so much time together was just the best. Friday night we made pumpkin ravioli with balsamic brown butter sauce for our dining-in date.
Guys. RAVIOLI IS THE WORST THING TO MAKE IN THE WHOLE WORLD. The name of the dish should have tipped me off. The end result was seriously delicious, but I advise against this endeavor unless you have a ravioli mold (we didn't) and a lot of patience (also didn't).
We also went to a birthday party which was fun, but the fun was overshadowed as I saw a little boy fall off a table. I'm being slightly dramatic, but seriously my mom fears about Nash falling off of things are a little out of control right now.
(He's already fallen off the couch and the bed so.... not unwarranted worries!)
Seriously, as a mom, that's the worst thing to witness!
I also tried out an easy, delicious new recipe for our Sunday dinner (I'm such a culinary fiend right now), and it was a hit. I love when that happens.
And church! We survived with flying colors! I actually really enjoyed the whole thing, AND neither one of us got spit up on! Win, win, win.
And can we talk about all the unadulterated time with my number one buddy? I miss him so much when I'm working and schooling during the week. Saturday and Sunday are the best for that reason. I didn't think it was possible before I became a mom, but seriously. He gets cuter every day, and I fall more and more in love each time I look at his sweet face.
And can you blame me?!
Christian and I are the luckiest!
I recently read this article (YOU SHOULD READ IT TOO!) about postpartum care in the US, and I'm so frustrated by it's truth!
In this country, we have such a skewed idea of how quickly moms should bounce back and feel/look/act like normal again after having a baby. IT'S ABSURD and it needs to change.
My delivery was fairly normal, with minor complications. But in hindsight, I wish I had slowed down more, given myself more time to recover, and that I'd had a little more help. During delivery, I had an episiotomy, and both Nash and I had to be put on antibiotics because I had a fever the duration of my labor. Thankfully my mom was in town to help for a little while, but she was super sick the whole time and was also helping me at night, so she was equally exhausted during the day (darn babies!)
Christian went back to work one day after I gave birth.
I went grocery shopping THREE DAYS after I gave birth.
I went back to class LESS THAN A WEEK after I gave birth
I was doing laundry and cleaning.
I was so swollen because of over exerting myself that I could hardly walk.
Nursing killed. I bled from my boobs and bled even more from my lady parts!
My back was on fire all day, every day, because of having to realign itself over night.
And yet, in spite of being in a ton of pain, and completely exhausted, and emotionally stretched to my limits, I still felt the pressure to get up! Do more! Be more! And I know I'm not alone in this.
Why is this the case? Can we not stop and appreciate what our bodies go through for pregnancy and child birth? Whether you deliver vaginally or via C-Section, both are MAJORLY traumatic events for our bodies and require weeks, if not MONTHS, to recover from. Stop expecting yourself, and others, to bounce back immediately! Our bodies need time to heal, and it's okay.
On a larger scale, we MUST be nice to our post-baby bodies and other women with post-baby bodies. This is a deeply emotional and difficult change for some, and it's okay to take some time to heal in this regard too. I loved this response that Jennifer Garner gave on Ellen a few days ago, when she was asked for the millionth time if she was expecting again. If you are a normal human being, your body will NOT be the same after you have a baby. No matter how thin or in shape or healthy you were. Let's accept that, treat our bodies kindly, feed them right, sleep them right, exercise them right, and move on. It's exhausting to see and feel judgment from other women, and for women to be so hard on themselves. I'm tired of it. It needs to stop. The messages we ought to be spreading are those of love and support and happiness and excitement. And this needs to be shared both with other women and with OURSELVES.
Let us be gentle and loving to new moms. Let us be gentle and loving to ourselves. Let us reach out and serve WITHOUT being asked. Let us stop judging and expecting so much and realize that although we can be superwomen, we can also ask for help. And we should. Let us give others the opportunity to serve us. Let us love our bodies and ourselves for BRINGING A LIFE INTO THIS WORLD. For squeezing out a melon-sized object, and for being able to love and nurture unconditionally despite the battering and bruising! Mothers, you are amazing. Having a baby is hard enough. Let's ease the burden on others and ourselves and reach out.
You need it.
Your neighbor needs it.
And this doesn't just apply to mothers.
WE ALL NEED IT.
We all need to realize that we are amazing for the things we do day in, day out.
Amazing for going to work. For cooking dinner for your little family, again. Amazing for exercising when you didn't want to. Amazing for listening to your friend express her sorrows over the phone. Amazing for giving yourself a break because you recognize you need it. For dealing with yet another miscarriage. For breastfeeding at 2 in the morning for the 6th day in a row. For struggling with infertility and putting on a happy face. For cleaning your house. For talking to the clerk at the grocery store. For scoring an amazing deal at Target. For loving your in-laws. For serving your husband. For eating some ice cream because you deserve it! For not buying those shoes. For BUYING those shoes!
You are just plain amazing. And you need to know that.
As women, we have been given an amazing capacity to love and serve.
Now, let's go out and DO THAT.
+ Christian is finally reading Harry Potter (it only took me 6 years to convince him!), and he's digging it. I do a happy dance inside my head every time we talk about it.
+ Cold, fresh air! Breathing it in deeply makes my head so clear and makes me feel so alive. I look like a lunatic woman in labor walking around campus like "deep breath in....and exhale. AHHHHHHH" but I don't even care.
+ A kind, anonymous, member of our ward left me a little note on Monday morning thanking me for playing the piano on Sundays. If you read my last post, you know that's way dramatic for me sometimes haha. Heavenly Father truly puts angels in our lives right when we need them!
+ My sweet baby boy has been teething and was the mayor of Crankville yesterday. I thought for sure it was his teeth bugging him, but after two HUGE poops and a much happier disposition today, I'm pretty sure it was just constipation. Hahaha boys!
+ October! Which means the Twilight Zone watching can begin! Like every other person in the world, I just really freaking love this month.