on friendship

Disclaimer: My thoughts in this post are far from cohesive. It's just stuff I've been thinking about for a while, and today's the day I'm discussing it. So if I seem like a crazy rambling lady, well..... it's because I am! ;)

Does anyone feel like maintaining solid friendships in your 20's is like.... really hard? 
I recently experienced a falling out with a friend who I've known for about 2 1/2 years. Granted it was a strained friendship to begin with for a lot of reasons, but she said some things to me a while ago that really made me think. And now I've got questions that I'm just sort of having a hard time grappling with.

I feel like I've tried really hard to balance my friendships over the years, but man it's really tough sometimes. I've moved around a lot my whole life, and that hasn't changed even in college. And after Christian and I got married, we've moved around even more. In the almost 2 years we've been married, we've lived in 5 different cities, in 4 different states.

Like..... AH. 

Being transient makes things hard.
Admittedly, I can and do go a long time without talking to or seeing a lot of my close friends. I feel like that's okay, because in reality that's the same boat that a lot of them are in.... with the moving a lot, or getting a new job, or being married, or graduating, or having babies or all of the above... you get the idea.
I guess I'm just wondering what the rest of my 20 something friends are doing.
And how you guys feel about this subject.

How are you supposed to maintain close friendships during your ever-changing 20's?
And once you get married? Not to sound like "oh I'm married so I can't have any friends because I'm so obsessed with my husband", because that's not how I feel in the slightest. However, I DO feel like Christian and I are so pressed for time these days that my priority needs to be our relationship. Does this get easier when you are done with school? What about when you have a baby? I feel like life will just keep getting busier and busier and how do you balance friendships with all of it? I desperately want that, but I feel like it's so hard, especially because on top of everything, you/we/people our age, are always faced with moving at least once a year or something like that. I'm a making a mountain out of a molehill here?

Also on a related but sort of unrelated note.... what is the line between loving someone, and being a compassionate caring friend, and giving too much of yourself? This is really hard for me because I feel like I automatically try to give too much, and end up sacrificing and exhausting my mental/emotional capabilities, and taking important energy away from my family and so on. I just don't know where to draw the line between giving, and giving too much I guess.

And then I'm struck with the thought that I deserve good friends who uplift and inspire me (don't we all deserve that?!). So shouldn't I be spending the time to carefully sift through friends during these transient years and pick the ones that I love and want to have around forever?
And I also don't have to make everyone happy, and not everyone has to like me (a hard pill to swallow for this people-pleaser!). 
So why do I spend so much time fretting over things like this?

I have a lot more I could say about this all.
(And a lot more that I've typed out and then deleted ha) 
But I'm worried this could turn into a word vomity, overly saturated post.... if it isn't already there ha! I guess I'm just interested to know everyone's take on friendships at this point in life.
I love you all and I'd love to hear what you think.


wellness wednesday: oil pulling

I have to start by acknowledging that this is probably the most hippie thing we've ever done. I mean, using ACV on your hair is pretty hippie too, so I guess don't be surprised if I stop showering all together or something ha! Anyways.
So we've been oil pulling with coconut oil for about a week and a half now, and here are my thoughts, tips, results, etc. I've got a lot of opinions about this so far, so buckle up!

1. If you decide to try it, be prepared for a whole bunch of nastiness right when you put the "oil" (really it's just a clump of solid YUCK) in your mouth. It takes 4-5 minutes for it to liquefy, which equals 4-5 minutes of pure torture. I have a pretty stable gag reflex, but this about kills me every day. Ack.

2. In light of that, here is something you can do that might help. I tried putting a little coconut oil in a glass, and then running the glass under very hot water until the oil started liquefying. That helped a little bit because it didn't take as long to melt when when I put it in my mouth. It also gives you a little more liquid at the beginning to swish around the hard stuff, which feels MUCH more bearable than just letting is sit and melt. 

3. Here's another tip: If the beginning process kind of grosses you out, make it a little easier and try not to let your tongue touch the hard oil, if at all possible. Again, I have a pretty stable gag reflex, but touching the unmelted oil almost killed me. I don't know why, but it's SO GROSS. 

4. Also, if you like the smell of coconut at all, try your hardest not to smell it before/during the oil pulling. I'm betting the chunk of oil in your mouth will make you gag, and if you smell it at the same time, you will probably start to be grossed out by the smell of coconut. I've noticed that happening to me, and I LOVE that scent so I've been trying to keep the smelling to a minimum. Which is pretty hard considering you're breathing through your nose the whole time ha. Thank goodness it's only 20 minutes!

5. I've noticed that my teeth are slightly whiter, same with Christian. It's not a huge difference, but enough that we see it in each other. It's also been great as an ultra moisturizer for my lips, which feels nice first thing in the morning. 

6. Morning breath has been waaaay toned down, which I'm so happy about. I hate waking up in the morning and feeling like Christian and I can't talk to each other unless our mouths are covered ha. This is probably the most significant change I've noticed! And I've also noticed that my whole mouth generally feels cleaner all day long. 

7. Here's the thing I was most interested in: would it help with TMJ symptoms? Rumor has it it's supposed to. For the first few days, my jaw actually felt worse than normal. I couldn't tell if that was because I had been sleeping on it weird, or whatever. A week later and I'm still not sure what to think. This is probably the kind of thing that takes a while to notice, so I guess I will keep you updated. 

8. Last thing. I've also heard that oil pulling is supposed to help with cavities some how? I don't have any (that I know of), so I will be interested to hear what the dentist says the next time I go in. My teeth feel pretty good as of now, but again I think this is one of the results that could take a while to see. 

So did it get any easier (re: less disgusting) after doing it for a week? Ehhhh.....
Actually full disclosure: it's still pretty disgusting. It is, in all honesty, a horrible way to start the day.
It's like this:
Rude awakening #1: Buzzing alarm, followed by snoozing, oh.... probably 8 times
Rude awakening #2: Dragging myself out of bed after 20 minutes, and oh HEY! It's freezing in my room and I'm only in my underwear! Awesome!
Rude awakening #3: Ask myself "what do I have to look forward to today?" Then realize NOOOOOOO I HAVE TO GO OIL PULL ACCCCKKKKK.

Maybe it's grossing me out simply because of being pregnant and having a body that's wacko right now. The good news is even though it's gross, it's fairly manageable. Your cheeks will probably get sore and tired after swishing for 20 minutes, but that gets easier after a day or so, and the ick factor definitely goes away after the oil is completely melted. Just don't think about it a ton. I'm obviously still working on that one. Also I can't guarantee that I will keep doing this if I don't see some BANGIN results over the next few weeks. So stay tuned.

If you decide to try this, good luck and  happy oil pulling, from one makeup-less hippie to another!
I hope you feel a little happier than I do in the process ;)



- We made our first big baby purchase... little man officially has a place to sleep!

- This guy is now a regular at our gym. 
Fun fact: he now has long hair and a beard, and he likes to wear headbands to complete the look. When I first saw him last week, I was like "Wait I know him. Was he on American Idol? Or the Bachelor?"

- Found out I can get my bangs trimmed at Aveda for FREE. Where have I been for the last year? That would have saved my from a lot of at-home hack jobs.

- Tried this on at Target and now I MUST have it. I'm obsessed with cotton maternity dresses.

- I'm so freaking tired today I seriously feel like I could die. I left Zumba 30 minutes early (GASP!) because I could hardly pick my feet up off the floor. This is not an exaggeration. When I almost tripped and fell at one point because of the whole not being able to pick my feet up dilema, I was like "I probably should be done". I'm reeeaaallly hoping I'm just sick, and that this isn't the new normal for the next 9 weeks. 

- We went to a prenatal class at the hospital last night. Did you know there is proof that getting an episiotomy is bad for long term health? I didn't. And now I'm even more scared of them than I was before. Also....

- The weather is still unbelievable here, and it's making my heart happy beyond words. I'm praying that spring is here to stay.


wellness wednesday: yum (and healthy!) grub

Christian and I made this Taboule salad a few weeks ago, and we are certifiably obsessed with it. 
It might not be as good as Pita Jungle, but it's a fresh, easy, delicious, filling meal you can cook at home.
I highly recommend making this. It's SO SO YUM.

Taboule Salad:
(with modifications, brought to you by chef Brooke)

1 package Taboule mix (we use the Near East brand. It's super cheap at Walmart!)
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup (4 oz) crumbled feta cheese
1 large tomato, chopped (we use 2 roma tomatoes usually, which probably yields about the same amount)
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil (I'm not a huge fan of basil, so we've been omitting this. It's probably good though!)
Romaine lettuce leaves (we also use spinach, which is super yum and super healthy)
Lemon wedges
**We also add shredded chicken breast to ours as well, for a little extra protein and flavor. So good**

1. Cook Taboule according to package directions
2. Chill for 30 minutes
3. Add olive oil and  lemon juice
(I actually just use a whole lemon. It's a little more than what the recipe calls for, but I LOVE my food with extra lemon/lime/citrus, and so does Christian so.... there you go.)
4. Chill over night (Originally you only need to let it chill for 2 hours before serving. We cook it the night before because it's a lot more time efficient during the week when we usually don't home until after 8 every evening.)
5. Before serving, add tomatoes, feta, lettuce, and chicken. If you love lemon like I do, you can also squeeze a bunch of extra juice on right before serving. This is also super good with chopped cucumber, or any other veggies you feel like adding!



things I'm loving this week

1. This nail polish. I have an unabashed thing for blue nail polish. And blue stuff in general.

2. This dress from the GAP. Maxi dresses ftw!

3. This list of 15 moments of inspiration for when you hate your life. Seriously killed me.

4. This blog post, and everything else I've been reading lately, about oil pulling. I'm weirdly intrigued, and DEFINITELY going to try it starting tomorrow!

5. This growing growing growing belly of mine! Less than 10 weeks to go!
Speaking of growing bellies... last week, a 50+ year old man stopped me and was like 
"Hey when are you due?!" 
I was surprised, naturally, because I had no idea who he was and.... well.... he was and old guy ha. 
So I was all "Uhhhh I'm due in May....." And then he pointed to his gut and was like "ME TOO!"
I don't know why but I thought it was so funny. People are weird.

6. And finally, the psychotic dreams I'm having on the daily. Last night's featured Sean and Catherine from the bachelor (I KNOW). Except Catherine had totally duped Sean into marrying her and she was actually a member of the Chinese mafia from the upper east side. Also I dreamed about my baby, and he kept going back and fort from "baby" to "golden retriever puppy". It's always good waking up feeling highly entertained I guess!


spring playlist

New season, new music. That's my philosophy. 
Here are some songs I'm loving right now, along with this beautiful change in weather.
I tried to keep the commentary at a minimum, so y'welcome for that.

Gimme Love- Ed Sheeran (if you listen to any song on this list, please bless it be this one!)
Rewind- Rascal Flatts
Midnight- Coldplay (it's not classic Coldplay, but it's Imogen Heap-y and I loooove it)
Kid- Amos Lee
All Laid Back and Stuff- Andy McKee (seriously that's the title of the song)
Crystallized- Young the Giant
Heart of Life- John Mayer (because what's a good playlist without a little John Mayer?)
Jealous of the Moon- Nickel Creek
Young at Heart- Michael Buble (as the song opens, imagine a spring walk through the park. DREAMY)
Beautiful War- Kings of Leon
19 You and Me- Dan+Shay (I have a total thing for Myrtle Beach, which is probably why I love this song.)

Listen and enjoy.

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