Disclaimer: My thoughts in this post are far from cohesive. It's just stuff I've been thinking about for a while, and today's the day I'm discussing it. So if I seem like a crazy rambling lady, well..... it's because I am! ;)
Does anyone feel like maintaining solid friendships in your 20's is like.... really hard?
I recently experienced a falling out with a friend who I've known for about 2 1/2 years. Granted it was a strained friendship to begin with for a lot of reasons, but she said some things to me a while ago that really made me think. And now I've got questions that I'm just sort of having a hard time grappling with.
I feel like I've tried really hard to balance my friendships over the years, but man it's really tough sometimes. I've moved around a lot my whole life, and that hasn't changed even in college. And after Christian and I got married, we've moved around even more. In the almost 2 years we've been married, we've lived in 5 different cities, in 4 different states.
Being transient makes things hard.
Admittedly, I can and do go a long time without talking to or seeing a lot of my close friends. I feel like that's okay, because in reality that's the same boat that a lot of them are in.... with the moving a lot, or getting a new job, or being married, or graduating, or having babies or all of the above... you get the idea.
I guess I'm just wondering what the rest of my 20 something friends are doing.
And how you guys feel about this subject.
How are you supposed to maintain close friendships during your ever-changing 20's?
And once you get married? Not to sound like "oh I'm married so I can't have any friends because I'm so obsessed with my husband", because that's not how I feel in the slightest. However, I DO feel like Christian and I are so pressed for time these days that my priority needs to be our relationship. Does this get easier when you are done with school? What about when you have a baby? I feel like life will just keep getting busier and busier and how do you balance friendships with all of it? I desperately want that, but I feel like it's so hard, especially because on top of everything, you/we/people our age, are always faced with moving at least once a year or something like that. I'm a making a mountain out of a molehill here?
Also on a related but sort of unrelated note.... what is the line between loving someone, and being a compassionate caring friend, and giving too much of yourself? This is really hard for me because I feel like I automatically try to give too much, and end up sacrificing and exhausting my mental/emotional capabilities, and taking important energy away from my family and so on. I just don't know where to draw the line between giving, and giving too much I guess.
And then I'm struck with the thought that I deserve good friends who uplift and inspire me (don't we all deserve that?!). So shouldn't I be spending the time to carefully sift through friends during these transient years and pick the ones that I love and want to have around forever?
And I also don't have to make everyone happy, and not everyone has to like me (a hard pill to swallow for this people-pleaser!).
So why do I spend so much time fretting over things like this?
I have a lot more I could say about this all.
(And a lot more that I've typed out and then deleted ha)
But I'm worried this could turn into a word vomity, overly saturated post.... if it isn't already there ha! I guess I'm just interested to know everyone's take on friendships at this point in life.
I love you all and I'd love to hear what you think.