adventures with airbnb

Good thing I'm such a good blogger! It's whatever ha.

Nash is like "wtf guys"

So when we went to Yellowstone back in July, we decided that our cheapest option would be non-hotel. Which left us with camping (with a one year old, no thank you!), or something like airbnb/vrbo (so many acronyms!). Airbnb it was! Our first night we stayed in Rexburg, and it was great. Except for the large collection of stuffed animals, it seemed like your run-of-the-mill basement apartment.

Enter our second night in Gardiner, Montana.

Alright, so going into this, we knew it had the potential to be uncomfortable. It was a single room in this family home, and it was um... friendly. Like share the kitchen all together friendly. I knew we would be in and out quick, so I honestly didn't care. I was definitely second guessing myself upon our arrival, however.

Out walks our host *Edgar, and I know we are in for an adventure. He's a snaggly tooth feller, absolutely reeking of cigarettes. He welcomes us, and proceeds to show us to our room, which coincidentally was right next to the room that their newborn daughter was sleeping in. Oy. I don't think he was too pleased to see Nash with us, because after Christian went out to the car to get the rest of our stuff, I heard Edgar say to his mother in law: "And they have a one year old."

Her response: "OH NO."

Feeling right at home!
And speaking of mother in laws, theirs lived with them. Also she was Bulgarian, and spoke almost no English. It wasn't hard to interpret her feelings about Nash being there with us however. Eyes are the window to the soul after all, and her soul was full of daggers and other sharp things each time I looked at her and attempted a feeble smile. Double oy. Also, the house still smells terribly like a casino.

So by this time, it's about 7:45pm and Nash has gone literally all day without a nap. We proceeded to put him down, our plan being as soon as he fell asleep, we could just go hang out in our car and read for an hour or so, and then we'd head to bed as well (since we were all sleeping in the same room). I don't know guys, really shooting from the hip in that situation! So of course Nash took a bit to calm down and stop jabbering enough to fall asleep. I didn't feel comfortable leaving him inside while he was awake and being "loud", so we literally just SAT IN THE HALLWAY pretending not to watch the SNL episode Edgar had playing, while he awkwardly ignored us. This would have been fine and good, had we not been sitting only about 50 feet from him.

I'm still dying that we did this. Seriously, laugh-crying emoji for days.

After 20 excruciating minutes of whisper-talking and trying to avoid making eye contact with Edgar, Nash was finally asleep and we felt comfortable going and sitting in the car (which was only a marginally less weird thing to do than sitting in the hallway, at this point.). THEN another family shows up, Asian of course, and we were like "WTF are we now sharing a bathroom with another family?!". Thankfully no. This casino house was just steadily turning in to a hotel. Because every good casino is also a hotel of course!

So after retardedly sitting in the car for about a half hour, we decided to be productive and fill up with gas and get ice for our cooler, lest we dawdle in Gardiner Montana any longer in the morning than we have to. I force Christian to be the errand-runner, as the ever pushy wife,while I head back in to casino de la Edgar and proceed to get ready for bed. Their newborn is still sleeping, as is Nash, so I'm tiptoeing and trying to go as fast as possible without being seen, because Edgar is still watching SNL and in eyesight of everything I'm doing. Nothing like letting a stranger see you run around IN HIS HOUSE in your pajamas, am I right?!

About 15 minutes later, I get a call from Christian. He has locked his keys in the car, because of course he has! So he's currently trying to find his was back to casino de la Edgar (FOLLOW YOUR NOSE, HONEY!), while I sit in silence in our dark room (lest I wake Nash) trying not to move (lest I sweat to death because again, no AC!) and wait for Christian to tell me to come outside and give him the keys. This is approximately the 18th time we've gone in and out the front door, and I now have flesh wounds all over my body from the shade Bulgarian mother-in-law is throwing with her dagger eyes. At this point, that is the least of my worries. I'm pretty sure I'm going to die of heat exhaustion and second hand smoke any minute.

ONE HOUR LATER Christian finally returned, lucky to find me alive and not drowning in a pool of my own sweat. I have been sitting in dark silence in the room by myself this whole time, and I've never been so happy to see another human. This is only a slight exaggeration. Except by the time Christian actually climbs into bed with me, I'm practically building a fort of pillows around myself lest our skin make any contact as we slowly burn to death... I mean, drift off to sleep.

The morning went much more smoothly. Bright and early wake-up call, silent showers, sneaking out unseen.... we were basically spies. Honestly the whole experience didn't seem terrible as it was happening, just super funny honestly. It's definitely something to laugh about in hindsight. And laugh and laugh and laugh we do.