wellness wednesday: things I've learned from Zumba

1. Pitbull is like.... 
Zeus of the Zumba music world.

And all the teachers love him.

(Here's a secret: I actually do too. I don't vocalize it much thought, because Christian has.... um.... less than favorable feelings for him ha!)

He's like:

"Whadup. 

I'm bald and I'm wearing a white suit.

Which would normally make me douchey, but guess what. 

I do what I want because I'm Mr. Worldwide, aka

Freaking Pitbull."

2. Even white girls can have hips that don't lie.

Guys, I purposely position myself in front of the mirrors so I can watch myself be a fake Latina.

And guess what. 

Even though I haven't danced since I was like, 6....

The more that I move my hips, the better

(aka less awkward)

I look!

And let me tell you.... I get a WAY better workout too. 

So even if you are as caucasian as the come

(Don't worry, you aren't. That spot has been has actually been filled by me already)

you too can ALMOST look Latina in your Zumba class.

3. I really really really want to meet Kass Martin, or go to one of her classes. 

Or possibly both. 

Guys, she's in the actual Wii Zumba game! 

And she lives right here in good old Orem!

So she's got to be awesome right?!

4. When Latin girls come to the class, just be prepared to feel stupid and be judged. 

I mean, Zumba is like their thing.

They are going to one up you, no matter how hard you try. 

So you might as well do what I do and high-tail it to the other side of the classroom, where you will feel only slightly less stupid. 

5. Having double jointed elbows makes you look TOTALLY weird while you are dancing.

And unfortunately I suffer from this. 

And I'm still trying to decide if it's going to keep me from getting Zumba certified one day. 

I just don't want to be in front of a class, and have everyone be all:

"What the heck is wrong with her ELBOWS?!"

6. If you ever convince your husband to PUBLICLY do Zumba with you, here are some good guidelines.

First, just omit the idea completely if you are over 60. 

Zumba is probably too much for you to handle anyways. 

Second, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT tantalize each other in the class.

This includes raising eyebrows at one another, fake bum slapping, and other suggestive moves.

I'm all about PDA, but that's just gross and uncomfortable for everyone involved.

This is especially gross and uncomfortable if you are the aforementioned over 60 years old.

Unfortunately, I am a firsthand witness of this. 

Not pretty.

 7. And finally, if you have never done Zumba, or it's been a long time since doing Zumba, you're probably going to feel like this lady for at least 3 weeks:

And that's okay, because we've all been there right? What matters is that you are trying!
(This however, does not change the fact that it's still hilarious. Sorrynotsorry)

And there you have it. 

Who knew that a workout class could offer so much wisdom?!