wellness wednesday: a weighty issue

I was struggling with what to write about today.
I know these posts may seem silly, but they have greatly helped me in my goals to maintain a healthy lifestyle, especially as we have started training for this triathlon.
(Which I have lost some steam in, so I must keep posting FTW!)

And then the ever so inspirational C.Jane Kendrick wrote something last week that really struck a chord with me. It was sensitive and honest and real, which is exactly this way this issue needs to be addressed. And so I'm pulling some thoughts from her and mixing them with my own.

{Link}

I want to talk about women and their weight issues, and how I have learned to deal with and overcome this in myself. I love what she wrote because it echos my own feelings perfectly.

I have never been super thin. Maybe when I was like 6 years old, but then I matured rather quickly, and I was always taller and had more build that my friends and peers.
(Code for "blessed with large thighs and a butt that won't quit". Or something like that.)

Look at those boat feet!
I was destined to be a tall athletic woman!

I "struggled" with my weight through most of middle and high school.
And I say "struggled" because looking back, I definitely wasn't really heavy! I had my chubbier years, but who doesn't? I think I just never really felt good enough. Combine those issues with acne ridden skin and a lot of hormones, and you've got.... well.... a lot of teenage angst to say the least haha. I was reading through some of my journals a few weeks ago, and it made me so sad. From the time that I was in about 7th grade, I was ALWAYS talking about how I wanted to lose
"just 10 more pounds by such and such date"
or "if I could just lose 15 pounds I would be so much prettier".
Phrases like that riddled so many pages of the 4 journals I have from that time. And I know I'm not alone in a lot of those feelings.

But you know what's interesting?
I still had A TON of confidence! I never remember feeling super uncomfortable in my body, or embarrassed to be in a bathing suit or anything like that. I never looked at myself in the mirror and felt like I was fat, and I never really got so upset about my weight that it turned into depression or an eating disorder or anything.

At first that really confused me.
Why would I write those things for years, but then hardly have a memory of truly struggling with those issues when all was said and done?
How did I have the confidence I did, when my writing would say otherwise?

I've come to two conclusions:
First, I had seriously succumbed to the attitude of the world.
A world OBSESSED with weight loss.
It seems to me that I felt like I had to have those feelings. That it was normal, and almost expected, "Because what woman doesn't" right? And certainly there was probably some part of me that was concerned with having a leaner physique, but looking back now, I really don't think I was truly as concerned about it as I made myself out to be through my journals.

This is my second and main conclusion:
 Since a fairly young age, I've been a consistent exerciser and pretty healthy eater.
(I say "pretty healthy" because I have been known to eat a cookie or donut or ice cream on the daily, along side my protein shakes, quinoa, vegetable juice and edamame.
YOLO!)

And I realize now, thanks to my journal entries, memories, and the words of Courtney Kendrick, just how much exercise blessed my life and changed my attitude about my body, DESPITE the onslaught of negativity from the world, and my own attempts to fit in with the body-obsessed culture we live it.
Through years of striving to take care of myself, 
by feeding it good food and giving myself a little wiggle room, 
learning how to exercise and exercise HARD, 
I've learned to love my body despite it's imperfections.
Despite my scarred skin.
My athletic thighs.
My flat feet.
 My round chin.

And so much of that came through exercising in order to love my body.
I may not currently be a size 2. I may not EVER be a size 2, in fact. And ultimately, that's not what I want!
As I exercise and give my body what it needs both through physical activity and eating good food, I've learned to pick through what the world says I need to feel about myself and see my value and beauty.
The more that I've learned how to take care of my body, the more I've learned to appreciate it.
Because it's strong and beautiful and healthy and it carries me through what I need to do every day.
It also helps that my husband thinks I'm way hott ;) Bonus, right?!

I wish more women in the world would see themselves in this way! Because every single one of us is different, and certainly we aren't all meant to look like the airbrushed women on the front of Shape Magazine. There is so much beauty in every single BODY, and I desperately wish that attitude would permeate society instead of the current attitude of attaining body perfection.

Perfection like this!
Haha jk. This is the most awkward picture of me in existence. 

This is all why I'm such a huge advocate of exercise and healthy eating.
Find healthy foods you love! Find workouts that enthuse instead of bore you. Don't be afraid to try new things, like Zumba or Crossfit or kale or wheat germ. You never know how much more motivated you will be to take care of yourself, and love your body, when you experiment with new things! Now, I'm not naive enough to think that those two things will simply eliminate body image issues. Heavens knows there are plenty of days when I wake up and feel like a whale (DARN YOU PERIOD BLOAT!)
But through years of experience, and plenty of self doubt, I've learned that taking care of myself helps me see my true beauty and worth, without being tainted by the expectations of the world. It's helped me learn that I don't have to be super duper thin to feel super duper good about myself.

I love what C.Jane said:
"a healthy body acceptance promotes peace and an increase of joy" 

And couldn't we all use a little bit more of that?