I've so enjoyed the time I've had at home with my Nashy boy this summer. It's been a whirlwind, and little busier than expected, but sweet nonetheless. My last semester (!!!) starts in a little over a week, and as much as I'm looking forward to a change in routine, I'm also forgetting that it means more time away from my little side kick, which I'm NOT looking forward to!
The last 4 months of motherhood have been quite the learning experience, and have changed me a lot quicker than I could have ever imagined.
I've always been a planner. Like, SERIOUS planner. I like to know what's going on in my life a week or two (or five) in advance, and I don't do well with things being thrown at me unexpectedly. It makes me frustrated and resentful and a little bit crazy. So yeah, hashtag control freak. Knowing this, you'd probably think new momhood would throw me for a loop, but I've been pleasantly surprised at how I've adjusted. I'm sure it's purely because I love my little man more than life itself, but I'm not losing my mind over the inconsistency! Sure, I know that he needs to eat about every 3 hours during the day, but that's about it. Those are the only sure things in life with him right now, and I'm totally okay with that.
What works today, probably won't work tomorrow! And just when we thought we had Nash and his routine figured out, he will do something like stop napping during the day, and all the sudden I'm like:
"Okay dude. I don't know what I'm doing and you don't know what you're doing and that's fine and we will figure it out together as we go along and pass the ice cream!"
Or something like that ;)
I'm amazed at how much love can mold a person into someone entirely new. The old Brooke is still here, obsessed with Josh Groban and animals and Zumba and other weird stuff. But a new Brooke is emerging. She's more mellow and better at rolling with the punches. She loves nothing more than baby talk and shopping for boy clothes, and she spends the better part of each day nursing, covered in spit up, and discussing the poop habits of her 4 month with her husband. It's not glamorous, it's not romantic, and it definitely isn't easy, but it's motherhood for me right now and I love it. My love for this child is all consuming and over the moon, and I'll welcome each and every change it thrusts upon me, in all its poopy glory.
Love, man. It's an incredible thing.