+ Christian is finally reading Harry Potter (it only took me 6 years to convince him!), and he's digging it. I do a happy dance inside my head every time we talk about it.
+ Cold, fresh air! Breathing it in deeply makes my head so clear and makes me feel so alive. I look like a lunatic woman in labor walking around campus like "deep breath in....and exhale. AHHHHHHH" but I don't even care.
+ A kind, anonymous, member of our ward left me a little note on Monday morning thanking me for playing the piano on Sundays. If you read my last post, you know that's way dramatic for me sometimes haha. Heavenly Father truly puts angels in our lives right when we need them!
+ My sweet baby boy has been teething and was the mayor of Crankville yesterday. I thought for sure it was his teeth bugging him, but after two HUGE poops and a much happier disposition today, I'm pretty sure it was just constipation. Hahaha boys!
+ October! Which means the Twilight Zone watching can begin! Like every other person in the world, I just really freaking love this month.
A small drop of water in the big bucket of life, but it still feels like a milestone!
I could go on and get extra mushy, but instead I wanted to share some of my favorite moments from our marriage so far, taken from a little letter I wrote to Christian in celebration of the occasion. Don't worry, list has been appropriately edited ;)
10. Trips to the National Portrait Gallery in D.C. Our infatuation with that place surprised me, and I love the memories we have of spending hours there together. And walking through Georgetown. And visiting Philly. And everything about our time in D.C.!
9. Solo beach trips when we lived in Florida. It was so fun getting that time alone with you in such a beautiful, peaceful place. Nothing short of bliss!
8. Our date to Slab Pizza right at the beginning of my pregnancy. I was so so sick, but for some reason the food tasted wonderful that night, and the smells didn't bother me at all. We sat and talked for a really long time, and it's still one of my favorite dates with you. Simple and happy!
7. Attempting to grill on the little sidewalk outside our apartment in Orem last summer. It was time consuming, and sort of a pain, but I LOVED doing that with you!
6. Biking 30 something miles on the Murdock Trail last year and getting unbelievably sunburned. Chugging through those last horrid miles and laughing about how dumb the whole thing was when we got home. I LOVE biking with you, even if you totally kill me!
5. Last year when we would have our Taco Tuesday date nights at Rubios and stop for frozen yogurt afterwards. And basically every memory we have of enjoying our favorite food together!
4. Finding out we got an extra night in Myrtle Beach on our honeymoon, and splurging on our last dinner there. After spending so much time on the road, all of that was such a welcome relief!
3. Reading The Firm out loud together. Such a random thing to do, but it was so fun to get as engrossed as we did!
2. Camping in Sand Hollow, and everything associated with that trip. Watching the repellers for an hour after our super hot hike. Bobbing in the water with our walmart pool floats... We were so stressed to be in the water haha! And talk about stressed... let's not even revisit our attempt at climbing the entirety of angels landing ha! I felt so bad for freaking out at the top because I knew how bad you wanted to finish. But as usual, you were completely fine complying with my wishes. That was the best vacation with you, for so many reasons!
1. Finding out our little family would be growing from 2 to 3. I cried and cried that morning, I was so happy. I've loved hearing you talk about our "team" through this whole pregnancy and I can't wait to watch you become a dad to little man. I'm sorry I didn't wait to tell you I was pregnant until we were together, but I'm so glad that you were as thrilled as I was.
I feel so lucky to have found someone who can tolerate me enough to want to spend his life with me. Not many people get that lucky. I love you more and more every day Christian!
First I just have to say that I SO appreciate everything that was said in regards to my last post.
I have felt so much freedom, happiness, and gratitude over the last week as I've thought about friendships, and all you people that I love so much.
Truth be told, I think I really needed to evaluate a few friendships I was hanging on to, and after letting them go and hearing all your thoughts, I feel so refreshed and thankful that we really can CHOOSE who we let in our lives. And especially that I'm not alone in my thinking :) So thank you!
Alright enough with the heavy stuff. I've got a great story to share today from the bare-bones beginning of my relationship with Christian.
Our first picture together, and my very favorite one of us.
Totally normal and as weird as it gets about sums it up.
At the very end of our freshman year at BYU, we were slightly enamored by one another. Not enough to make anything official of course, because we were babies, but enough to stay out all night together on our last day in Provo.
Yep.
Just 19 year old me and 19 year old Christian, mobbing around BYU campus.
All. Night. Long.
What would the honor code office say?!?!
It was totally innocent and totally fun, because remember we were babies. Literally all we did was walk every single part of campus and then some, and talk and talk and talk. I remember it was the first time I found myself hoping it would go somewhere after he got home from his mission, like the giddy school girl I was.
Here's the best part of the whole thing;
It was about 4 in the morning and we were making our final descent back to the dorms, when this car drove by as and quickly flipped a U-y (???) to head back our direction. I had the fleeting thought: "Hmmmm that's pretty weird...." And all of the sudden, I was pelted in the head with a water balloon.
Those lunatics had seriously turned around specifically just to chuck a plastic sack of water at us. Can you even believe those little daredevils?
Thankfully, it ended up being really funny, even though it totally ruined my hair and made my makeup run. Which normally would have stressed me out, being in the presence of a cute boy I had a crush on and all. I think that was a sign that our relationship was really a good thing. It totally broke the ice, and I still felt comfortable and confident.... regardless of my stringy wet locks, and mascara running all down my cheeks. CUTE! Christian was pretty ticked at first, but we ended up laughing about it, and ended the night with a bang.
Or a splash rather.
The next morning, aka a few hours later, we met up and had breakfast together in the Cannon Center (ROMANCE!) and finally bid our farewells for the next 2 1/2 years...
thus beginning the sweetest relationship I've ever had the joy of experiencing.
And to think. It all kind of started with a water balloon.
New season, new music. That's my philosophy.
Here are some songs I'm loving right now, along with this beautiful change in weather.
I tried to keep the commentary at a minimum, so y'welcome for that.
“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.” - Gordon B. Hinckely
I've mentioned this before, but much of the last year felt just like that old time rail journey. It was delays and sidetracks, lots of smoke and plenty of dust and fiery cinders that burned and burned, and just all around BLAH. It really kicked my teeth in. We had plenty of moments that were sweet and beautiful, but most of the time I found myself teetering on the brink of being unhappy, and just trudging along because things were just plain ol' rough.
This year started looking like it would feel much the same. When we lost our housing because our landlady decided to move, I was mad for weeks. I felt completely jipped because we had been working so hard and "why did things have to fall apart right as another semester was starting?!"
Fast forward a few months and I'm just beyond grateful for that little "derailing". It's truly been the biggest blessing for Christian and I in so many ways. It's hard living with family again, because we are really ready to just take off and do our own thing and not be tied to anyone because of our living circumstances. I guess Heavenly Father has been very aware of those desires (isn't He always?!), because this weekend we found a place to live come April, and we are absolutely thrilled about it. Then this morning, Christian got news that he was offered an internship at Goldman Sachs this summer, which has basically been his dream for the last year and a half. This internship will mean security, almost guarantee a job after graduation, and guess what else: The freedom to take off and do our own thing as the little Carter family, just like we've been wanting ever since we got married. I have been so overwhelmed by the "beautiful vista" and "thrilling bursts of speed" we've been feeling the last few days, and I'm doing my best to soak it all in and just revel in the happiness. President Hinckely was right when he said that much of life is hard. And even though we've been feeling elated and blessed the last few days, things will certainly start to feel hard again soon.
(anytime! I'm ready for whatever you want to throw at me, life!)
But right now, I want pour out my soul in deep gratitude, and enjoy the proverbial vistas I feel completely surrounded by. The blessing of a place to live. A good job. A great education. Beautiful weather that just makes my heart sing. A sweet baby boy preparing to join our family. Wonderful friends and family who love us. A darling husband. Health. Happiness.
Because in the end, the trick really is to thank the Lord for letting us have the ride, despite the dust that can so easily cloud our ability to see the breathtaking beauty behind it all.
In honor of the holiday this week, and his birthday next week, I'd like to dedicate this post to my Valentine.
Warning: serious cheese ahead!
One of my favorite pictures of Christian. Seriously stop it with the sexiness right now.
Man, words can't even begin to cover all the things I love and appreciate about Christian. I feel like my marriage to him has been the biggest gift ever (it probably has!), because I've been able to grown and learn from one of the best people I've ever known! Let me tell you about him:
- Christian is smart. So so smart you guys, like seriously. Like, he read a Stephen Hawking book over Christmas break for FUN. His version of browsing the internet actually means reading Wikipedia, and then he can remember literally everything he reads! This is something I love so much about him.
- Christian is a talented athlete. He swam all through high school, he's a super great runner, and he's got a ton of speed and power on a bike. He gives my water polo-playing brothers a run for their money any time they are together ha! This is one reason why I love going to the gym so much... it's fun to be there with him!
- Christian is a BIG sweetheart. He tells me every day that he loves me. He also talks to our little guy through my stomach all the time, and it kills me. I know that not everyone gets to hear or feel expressions of love every day, and it makes me feel very lucky that Christian does that for me. I need to be better about that!
- Christian is literally the hardest working person I've ever known in my life. He will sometimes go a whole day without eating because he's been working so hard that he just doesn't think about it. He motivates me to be so much better in this regard!
- Christian always wants to be better. I rarely, if ever, feel like he is just stagnant in ANY area of his life. He always wants to run faster, get better grades, be a kinder husband, attend the temple more, eat healthier... Sometimes it's exhausting because I'm lazy ha, but I'm thankful for his drive because I need it!
- Christian will be such a good dad! I'm thrilled that we are having a boy first, because he will get to learn from the best. Little man is very lucky.
- Christian is hilarious. He seriously makes me laugh so hard that I cry at least once a week. He's also great about using his humor to diffuse frustration (a RARE occurrence in our marriage! ;) ), and it's such a blessing for our relationship.
- And finally, Christian is a great kisser. I'm sorry but I had to. He makes me weak in the knees sometimes!
Aaaaaand before I keep blabbing and embarrass my poor husband more than I probably already have, there's my semi short list of the reasons why he's AWESOME and my favorite valentine in the world. Happy early V-day and birthday, schmoozie poo.
Turns out all I needed was a nap, (Granted, an in-class nap, but hey. You can't win 'em all. Except... it was during the boringest presentation in the history of ever, so probably a good choice. ANYWAYS)
an evening of doing absolutely nothing, and a good workout.
Speaking of, let me tell you about my experience at the gym this morning. I went to a Body Combat class (basically like kickboxing mixed with karate mixed with death). At one point, as she was explaining a move, my teacher said this:
"Imagine that this is your opponent and you are holding their head to the floor and punching them over and over."
This is a class entirely of women, so I thought this was hilarious.
But then I saw the wisdom in this statement, and I was all: "Okay. I'm pretending that my opponent is life and I am beating the crap out of it BECAUSE I'M A BOSS."
So lesson learned. If you are ever feeling exceptionally haggard, just pretend that your trials are your opponent. And you are holding their head to the ground, punching them over and over.
Lately it feels like time is zooming by, and we are reluctantly zooming right along with it. School starts in a short 15 days (AGH!), and with it, a whole new slew of responsibilities. And yet, when I look back at all that has transpired this summer, it's seemed to last forever.
See? Strange.
Despite this being the busiest summer of my life, I wish it wouldn't end. I love these long days. The hot sun. The lack of school responsibilities looming over our heads. I guess I will just be praying for a long, glorious fall so we can keep enjoying the sunshine (read: happiness) as long as possible before it's time to hibernate.
But, I'm getting ahead of myself.
In light of..... well.... a few "summer bummers" that hit in June and July, Christian and I decided we were in need of a break. Desperate need. Like "a few breakdowns short of visiting crazy town" need ha! So last week we loaded up our car and headed south, where we spent the next five days camping in Sand Hollow State Park, hiking in Zion, swimming, and just generally enjoying life and loving each other. It was a little piece of heaven.
We match all the time, so that's good.
Quaint little campsite. And that view!!!
Angel's landing.
Which should also be called "don't ever do this hike or it might just give you a hernia and you'd rather be dead than finish"
You see that giant mountain and those perilous drops behind Christian? Yeah. You are supposed to hike that.
And guess what. The only way you can make it is by HANGING ON TO CHAINS THE WHOLE TIME.
Yeah, thanksbutnothanks.
This is not feigned terror, you guys!
Okay maybe a little.
Seriously though, when we tried to hike that last mile, my body was literally seizing up because I was so freaked out. Like, verging-on-panic-attack kind of freaked out.
Get a load of this hunk! No wonder the last week was so much fun!
* * *
So I've never really considered myself the camping type. (Probably because the only time I've done it in the last 10 years was at girls camp when I was 17. And even though I totally peed in the woods, I feel like that doesn't count.)
Anyways, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I loved it. Granted I'm sure it helped that there was a shower and we slept on an air mattress and we brought tons of good food....... Baby steps people. Baby steps.
It's about to get WAY nerdy up in here, but this was too good not to share.
You've been warned.
So maybe I've mentioned before, but for my whole life I've always LOVED animals.
It verged on obsession all through my childhood, and to be honest not much has changed ha.
Along those same lines, I also love nature and everything pertaining to it. For as long as I can remember, I have felt such a pull to these things. It's such an integral part of me that it almost feels engrained into my spirit and spirituality.
(Am I a flower child, or what?!)
I adore natural history museums, nature documentaries and tv shows, books, newspaper articles.... basically anything that can fuel my intense desire to learn about God's creations, both living and non-living.
Thankfully I have a husband who encourages this and participates in it with me.
(In case anyone ever doubts that we are soul mates...)
Well, last week he told me about this documentary he saw on netflix called Crimson Wing, and we watched it together on Sunday.
YOU GUYS.
It was seriously the best movie I have seen in a long long time.
The music was incredibly moving.
The cinematography is mind blowing.
And come on... the movie is about FLAMINGOS!
Their story is so incredible, and just....
AH.
I can't say enough good things about this movie.
If you have Netflix, go watch it like.... yesterday.
Or at least watch the preview and be amazed.
Sometimes I wonder why I love these things so much. After years of pondering, I've come to the conclusion that learning about Heavenly Father's creations bring me much closer to Him.
It invites the spirit into my life, it helps me better understand His power and love for us, and for me specifically. If he can govern this huge flock of flamingos in the middle of Africa to live like this, imagine how invested He must be in OUR lives.
It's absolutely amazing.
If you are looking for more ways to invite the spirit into your life and feel closer to God, I highly recommend starting with something like this.
Truly this world is beautiful and amazing, and stands as a gigantic living testimony that He lives, He knows who we are, He knows what we need, and He loves us dearly.
I was feeling SO MUCH BETTER, which was an automatic high point.
(modern medicine is SUCH a blessing!)
We got to spend every single day reuniting with dear friends and family, including our favorite DC married friends, Christian's mission president and past companions at his mission reunion!
General Conference was exactly what I needed, as I'm sure it was for many.
I'm so thankful we can fill our spiritual cups to the brim every six months.
I've resolved to be more kind and loving, especially to the children that Christian and I are constantly interacting with.
As babysitters/pseudo parents, and primary teachers, I've realized this is something tremendously important to be working on.
Now we just need to chug through these last few weeks of school, and Christian and I will be enjoying our one year anniversary (!!!!!!!!) on the beaches in Miami, and soaking up all kinds of sun and fun with our families.
Last night I was just perusing my favorite songs on Youtube.
And GUYS.
I found some serious gems.
Like high-waisted-wrangler, too-much-chest-hair, how-much-aqua-net-is-he-wearing, why-don't-we-use-laser-noises-in-music-anymore, GEMS.
And I'm about to share some of them with you, and all their grossly awesome 80's glory.
Y'WELCOME.
Pour Some Sugar on Me- Def Leppard
Just A Friend- Biz Markie
Poison- Talk ... To Me
(Please forgive the slight unsavoriness, and pay attention to THE HAIR. OH THAT HAIR!!)
Also, will Bret Michaels ever quit that bandana?
I'm thinking...... no.
Africa- Toto
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE,
(WHICH YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY WATCH ALL THE WAY THROUGH BECAUSE THERE IS A LOT OF DENIM. ALSO, EAGLES.)
Michael Bolton- Said I Loved You
Aaaaaand now your day is complete. Happy Friday peeps.
*glad to know that after yesterday, the general consensus is that I should have a baby. It's because we all know Christian and I are going to make beautiful children, isn't it?* So I got this email from Lumosity a few weeks ago:
"We often refer to the brain as a muscle—and new research now shows that the two are more similar than previously thought.
A 2012 study out of Japan
investigates how working up a sweat might also increase energy levels in
the brain. The paper, published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, is based on careful measurement of glycogen levels in rats before and after exercise.
Glycogen for the brain and body:
Glycogen is a critical energy source for neurons and muscles alike, and it decreases as you spend energy during exhaustive exercise. In muscles, it has long been known that a phenomenon called supercompensation
reelevates glycogen levels 24 hours after exercise. Supercompensation
bumps glycogen above even pre-exercise base levels, hence the term.
The question: does
supercompensation work on brains like it does on muscles? It does in
rats, according to the study. Glycogen levels in five different rat
brain areas (which have corresponding human brain areas) decreased by
50-63% during exercise. But 6 hours later, glycogen levels rose to peak
at 29-63% times the pre-exercise levels. The boost in energy available to the brain may account for the mental alertness that many people report after a workout.
Exercise's longer-term effects:
Even better, researchers found that the effects of exercise in the brain were longer-lasting. The 2012 study also
included a group of rats trained to exercise regularly 5 days a week for
3 weeks. Compared to a control group of sedentary rats, these
exercise-trained rats had 7% and 9% higher levels of glycogen in the cortex and hippocampus, respectively.
While the 2012 study was
done on rats, not humans, it provides valuable insight into ways that
exercise can change the brain. The paper’s authors posit that increased
glycogen levels are how the brain responds to difficult metabolic
environments—just another example of how the brain can adapt in the face of new challenges."
* * * *
In light of this, I want to share some personal stuff.
My levels of happiness are embarassingly tied to the amount I'm currently exercising.
I really struggle during my "time of the month".
Basically I have PMDD, which is a subject that deserves and entirely different post. Anyways...
I'm already an emotional person, so the extra level of hormones usually turn me into a Raging She-Woman of Death, Fire and Pain. (or something like that)
Mentally and physically, I just feel SOOOOO sluggish, for like a week and a half,
BUT GOOD NEWS!
There is a remedy for that! And it's exercise!
When I make an effort to exercise consistently, especially during that time of the month, it's amazing how much better I feel!
Like this lady!
When I would normally be struggling mentally AND physically, just feeling hammered and emotional, exercise gives me an added boost that helps me cope MUCH better.
I feel happier, I am more alert in class and when I study, I sleep better at night, my moodiness is more mild, and I have WAY more energy. This is one of the main reasons why I am so passionate about my physical health.
Life is hard. Being happy is a struggle sometimes.
If there is one thing we are in control of, it's definitely whether or not we exercise.
So why not take advantage of that and give ourselves the automatic happy boost we deserve??
