you know you're a mom when...

Firstly, your babies don't always love you.

1. It is perfectly acceptable to have spit up or pee in your hair at some point. It is also acceptable to continue wearing clothes that have been covered in said spit up and/or pee. Not only is this acceptable, but encouraged. Stains are simply a new staple in your wardrobe.
Another load of laundry? Aint nobody got time for that!

2. With great effort, it IS possible to be romantic with your long lost spouse-turned-roommate. Make an effort to hold hands, send sweet texts, and reconnect at the end of the day, even if it's just for 5 minutes. You're in this together, and you both need support from one another.
Baby's finally asleep? Go ahead and make out a little. There's nothing a little kissing can't fix.

3. Try and find a few other friends with babies, because as hard as your childless friends will try to care about how long your baby slept last night, their eyes will glaze over eventually.
And that spitting up story you want to tell them? They'd probably be fine if you didn't.
It's just nice to have a few friends with babies to swap baby stories with, you know?

4. Talking in a baby voice all the time will be your new normal. And you will love it.

5. You will never NOT feel tired. Its gets easier after a few months, but the exhaustion will always be looming. It's harsh, but get used to it as soon as you can and try to live your life as normal.
That's easier said than done of course, and takes a while to adjust to!

6. Everything your child does will be the freaking cutest thing you've ever seen in your whole entire life.
Burps and farts included.

7. As hard as it is, try not to feel guilty for having some "me time". It's necessary, and you will go crazy without it! Make sure it's something you love too, be it exercise, painting your nails, watching your favorite movie, strolling through Target, or all of the above. Plan it out if you need to, but whatever you do, make sure it happens. You deserve it. You squeezed something the size of a melon out of your body, after all!

8. All those reservations you've ever had about poo, boogers, throwup and pee? Yeah kiss those good bye and hone that gag reflex, and fast. Babies are known to dish out all 4 at the same time with little regard to convenience.

9. Postpartum hair loss is no joke. As if birth wasn't cruel enough, just when you feel like you've returned to normal, all your hair starts to fall out and you legitimately feel like Gollum.

Thanks for nothing, hormones.

10. Anyone who looks like they've got it together right after having a baby is pulling one over on you. Behind the perfect hair, the cute clothes, and the flawless smile is a mom who is feeling just as frazzled as you are. Go easy on yourself and enjoy the craziness, because it will pass way too quickly.