welcoming baby nash

I'm currently sitting on our couch, snuggling a sad little baby.
He was circumcised today, which was the WORST for this new mamma.
Speaking of being a mamma, along with this sweet baby on my chest, I've got a mix of spit up, drool and baby tylenol coating my shirt, and it's just the best.
Even the grossest parts of motherhood feel so sweet to me. 
(Read: the poop I got on my hands yesterday. Yes, even that!)

It's been 2 weeks and 2 days since our precious little boy entered the world and already the process is feeling a bit hazy to me. Labor and delivery was such an amazing and precious, albeit painful, experience. And one that is absolutely worth sharing.

I went to the doctor to have my membranes swept on Monday the 5th, 10 days before my due date, around 5pm I was already dilated to about a 3 and 90% effaced, so we were pretty sure the membrane sweeping would really push things along.
At about 6, I was already feeling the onset of contractions. They weren't horrible, but I could definitely tell that they were contractions! We went to the store, came home and ate tacos for dinner, and by 8, things were intensifying. We waited around for about an hour, I don't really remember what we were doing. I think I talked to my mom for a bit while Christian was hurrying to tidy up and pack a bag for the hospital. The way things were going, we were pretty sure we'd have our little guy that night!

By 9ish, my contractions were about 30 seconds long and only a few minutes apart, and we decided it was time to head to the hospital. I was pretty uncomfortable at that point, but it was bearable still.
Oh if I had only known what was to come ha!

Hospital, round 1. Feeling much better than I would in a few hours!

We got to the hospital, they hooked me up to the necessary machines, and proceeded to monitor me for an hour. 2 Friends episodes later, they came back and told me I wasn't progressing fast enough and they had to send me home. We were pretty grouchy about that since I was already dilated and effaced a good amount. Our nurse even told us she knew we'd be back later that night, so who knows why they sent us home but whatever. They gave me a bunch of morphine and phenergan, told me to go home and sleep and that if the contractions stopped, I was in false labor and I'd just need to wait it out. I found out about an hour later that it definitely wasn't false labor!

We got home around 11:30, and by that point the meds had kicked in and I was WAY loopy. I was so sleepy, but the pain was really vamping up so I couldn't relax and embrace the exhaustion very well. I knew we'd be heading back to the hospital in a few hours, so I tried to lay down and fall asleep but at that point, my contractions were only about 2 minutes apart and getting very intense, so sleep was essentially futile. Christian and I laid in bed for a few hours, while he slept and I timed my contractions. By about 1:45, my contractions had been consistent, long and frequent enough that I knew it was go time. I couldn't take the pain anymore, so I got out of bed in an attempt to get ready and leave. WOW the pain was so intense at that point! I don't remember when I started crying, but by the time we were heading out the door, I had been sobbing for a good 30 minutes. I'm sure it was partly because I was so tired, but I have never experienced pain that intense. It was almost unbearable!

Thankfully the drive to the hospital was short, and when we got there, a nice security guard was able to wheel me up to labor and delivery while Christian parked the car. At this point, it was close to 3am. I don't really remember much about getting to the hospital room except for the fact that I was crying again as I changed out of my clothes and kept apologizing to the nurses haha. Labor is so dramatic! Christian was so wonderful through this whole process. He helped me concentrate during the contractions, told me I was doing a good job, and really made the whole thing feel much more manageable. Certainly I couldn't have done it without him!

I finally got settled, they checked me, and I was dilated to a 5 and 100% effaced! They could give me an epidural! I had to wait about 20 minutes, which felt like an eternity of course. The epidural wasn't bad at ALL. It was the local anesthetic they gave me that hurt the most actually ha. For some reason, my right side wouldn't numb at ALL so the doctor had to give me 3 rounds of the epidural. Talk about the most epic knockout of my life. My whole lower body felt like it was levitating by the time the medicine fully kicked in haha. I was so thankful not to feel those contractions anymore!

I also had a fever, which had them worried about the baby of course. So along with the epidural, they had me hooked up to an antibiotic as well. I can't believe how I tired I was at that point! The fever, along with not sleeping, the strain of contracting for so many hours, and the overall stress in general, had me totally wiped. Admittedly, I was worried about how I was going to push a baby out of me when I was already that exhausted haha. 

On my drugs, feeling exhausted, and much much better!

At that point, it was about 4 am and we just had to wait for my body to progress. I was in and out of sleep for a few hours (mostly out, because they had to come check me and rotate me what felt like a million times!). Christian was so great and kept everyone updated via text the whole time, until he finally was able to sleep for about an hour and a half. Around 7, my nurse came back and checked me and said I was dilated to 10! I was going to be able to start pushing!

I bravely (or stupidly? :) ) decided I wanted to see what was going on, so they set up a mirror for me. I'm so glad I did that! It was amazing to see my body progressing like that! Christian stood by one of my legs while my nurse took the other. It was very surreal at that point. Pushing always seemed like such a dramatic event, so to only have 3 of us in the room while I calmly breathed through every push felt much different than I had imagined. It was amazing from the very beginning because I could see his head so quickly! They had been telling me for over a week that he was sitting really low, and they were right!

I was so tired by then that I was falling asleep and having dreams in between pushing intervals haha! I would only sleep for maybe a minute or two, which is so funny to me! Again, labor is so dramatic. After pushing for about an hour and a half while being coached by my sweet husband and darling nurse, little man had descended enough that it was time to get the doctor. Christian said it was like he was suiting up for battle when he came in... putting on his gear with so much precision and all haha. By this point, I was so anxious to keep pushing and get this baby out that things felt like they moved really quickly! Because both the baby and I had a fever, his heart rate was really high and the doctor decided he needed to use forceps to help speed things up. I didn't love the idea, but I knew it would help him be safe so we went ahead. After giving me a quick episiotimy, briefly using the forceps, and tugging nice and hard, little Nash was finally born!!!!

Holding my precious babe for the first time!

Nash Harrison Carter, 8lbs 13oz and 20.5 inches long.

Seeing him for the first time and hearing him cry was so surreal. The whole thing felt almost out of body, partly because I was so exhausted and partly because this little piece of heaven was literally in the room with us! I couldn't believe how much hair he had, how big he was, and how familiar he felt to me. It was so sweet to sit and look at him with Christian for the first time. 

I didn't get to hold him too long because they wanted to get him on an antibiotic fairly quickly. We spent the next 2 days in the hospital recovering and enjoying time together as a new little family. Thankfully my mom had gotten on a plane that morning and she made it from Florida to Utah by that afternoon! It was so fun to see her face when she walked in the room and saw Nash for the first time! I was so thankful to have her and Christian there, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. 

We love you little Nashy Boy and we are so glad you're here!

a final pregnancy post: bests and worsts

I mentioned this in my last post, but I'm getting my membranes stripped tonight so I really have no idea what to expect over these next few days. Baby could be here by tomorrow (AH!) or it could be another week. Pregnancy is basically over! And in the spirit of reflection.....

First Trimester

Best: Positive pregnancy test, hearing the heart beat, finding out the gender, and eating my weight in otter pops! Obviously!

Worst: Being so sick I could literally have died, working two jobs, being in school, etc. I am happy I won't have to do that again! Also the one time I projectile vomited all over the kitchen, wall, my slippers, etc. Funny now. Definitely not in the moment! And I still have a hard time eating honey bunches of oats ha.

Second Trimester:

Best: Finally starting to show, wearing maternity clothes (maternity jeans ftw!), feeling the baby move, Christian feeling the baby move, getting the hook up with so much fun baby gear at Christmas, week 18 and finally feeling better!

Worst: Oh the sciatica! I was practically immobile sometimes! So strange that it went away as I got bigger. 

Third Trimester:

Best: Much stronger movements resulting in seeing my belly move, finally getting some comments from strangers (it only took about 35 weeks haha!), getting bigger, Christian talking to my belly and feeling our little guy respond to dad's voice. Too cute. 

Worst: Not much to complain about other than being really tired, pretty achy, and having rag doll joints. That's been a very strange feeling.

I'm getting so anxious to meet this little guy. Let's get him here already!

the end and beginning

Lately, I've really been enjoying the simple things about life.
Moving in to a new apartment (not exactly a simple process but it's so nice just being there)
Walking to and from the car while the weather is nice.
Sleeping in our own bed after months of not.
Anticipating a simple date, like a walk around the neighborhood.
Ice cream at Maceys.
Attending wedding festivities with my dreamboat.
Packing hospital bags.
Looking at tiny baby clothes.
Buying a new air freshener.
Living close to campus again.

A few days ago, my doctor said he would strip my membranes for me (TMI? sry!).
It caught me totally by surprise, and I told him no... but it's officially going to happen on Monday!
I'm sure I'm enjoying these simple life moments because something inside me knows how much it's all going to change starting next week, if all goes as planned of course. In many ways, life as I know it is ending with the arrival of this baby. It blows my mind when I think about how much it's all going to change.
In so many ways though, life is just beginning. And I'm sure I can't even grasp the magnitude of it all.
I can't wait to meet this sweet little boy!

and a happy anniversary to us

We've been married for two years.

A small drop of water in the big bucket of life, but it still feels like a milestone!

I could go on and get extra mushy, but instead I wanted to share some of my favorite moments from our marriage so far, taken from a little letter I wrote to Christian in celebration of the occasion. Don't worry, list has been appropriately edited ;)

10. Trips to the National Portrait Gallery in D.C. Our infatuation with that place surprised me, and I love the memories we have of spending hours there together. And walking through Georgetown. And visiting Philly. And everything about our time in D.C.!

9. Solo beach trips when we lived in Florida. It was so fun getting that time alone with you in such a beautiful, peaceful place. Nothing short of bliss!

8. Our date to Slab Pizza right at the beginning of my pregnancy. I was so so sick, but for some reason the food tasted wonderful that night, and the smells didn't bother me at all. We sat and talked for a really long time, and it's still one of my favorite dates with you. Simple and happy!

7. Attempting to grill on the little sidewalk outside our apartment in Orem last summer. It was time consuming, and sort of a pain, but I LOVED doing that with you!

6. Biking 30 something miles on the Murdock Trail last year and getting unbelievably sunburned. Chugging through those last horrid miles and laughing about how dumb the whole thing was when we got home. I LOVE biking with you, even if you totally kill me!

5. Last year when we would have our Taco Tuesday date nights at Rubios and stop for frozen yogurt afterwards. And basically every memory we have of enjoying our favorite food together!

4. Finding out we got an extra night in Myrtle Beach on our honeymoon, and splurging on our last dinner there. After spending so much time on the road, all of that was such a welcome relief! 

3. Reading The Firm out loud together. Such a random thing to do, but it was so fun to get as engrossed as we did!

2.  Camping in Sand Hollow, and everything associated with that trip. Watching the repellers for an hour after our super hot hike. Bobbing in the water with our walmart pool floats... We were so stressed to be in the water haha! And talk about stressed... let's not even revisit our attempt at climbing the entirety of angels landing ha! I felt so bad for freaking out at the top because I knew how bad you wanted to finish. But as usual, you were completely fine complying with my wishes. That was the best vacation with you, for so many reasons!

1. Finding out our little family would be growing from 2 to 3. I cried and cried that morning, I was so happy. I've loved hearing you talk about our "team" through this whole pregnancy and I can't wait to watch you become a dad to little man. I'm sorry I didn't wait to tell you I was pregnant until we were together, but I'm so glad that you were as thrilled as I was.

I feel so lucky to have found someone who can tolerate me enough to want to spend his life with me. Not many people get that lucky. I love you more and more every day Christian!

2 years down, and hopefully a million more to go! 

a few things

Because we are horrible people, everyone in my family makes fun of our dog Gus because he seriously has the most crazed, goofy eyes I've ever seen. See left dog for details.

I'm really loving the latest Kings of Leon album. If you're looking for some sassy southern rock music for your summer soundtrack, I recommend listening to the song Family Tree. It's really groovy.

This morning before I even woke up, I was dreaming about taking a nap. I think I've officially reached a new level of tired. I guess I should get used to that because I will have a newborn in about 3 weeks......

This weekend also marks our 2 year anniversary. Time sure flies! So, here's a wedding picture, aaaaand you're welcome.

This year is the first time I've finished my finals before the very last day in a looong time. Once I saved 3 exams for the last day ha. IDIOT.

Speaking of finals... they're over! And now I'm just 2 classes away from graduation! I could kiss something. It will probably be Christian.
And on that note......

The end.