the time i hated pizza, also known as a throwing up story

I've been really really sick the last few weeks. 

#what'snew

#immunesystemfailamongotherthings

#arebloghashtagskosher?

Anyways, this is a gross story, but it's just funny, so I just have to share. 

(Besides, remember that post about pooping and that story about christian's bumb? 

These are my true colors guys!!!!)

So my stomach has been having some serious issues, and today was no exception. 

I was in the kitchen, and all the sudden I looked at a pizza box sitting on our counter. 

(Notice the word "looked". I didn't eat, look at, or even SMELL the pizza)

Pizza thoughts suddenly overcame my mind, and before I knew it, I was dry heaving. 

It was like a cheesy pizza man had reached out of the box and punched me straight in uvula with his pepperoni fists and then clawed at my stomach with his greasy nails, all the while breathing garlic breath of death straight into my face, burning my nose hairs completely off.
Something to that effect.

So I did what any sane, and ill, person would do.... 

I ran into the bathroom and threw up for like 10 straight minutes. 

You may think this is strange. And I may be tempted to agree with you. 

But then I am reminded of the time I threw up on the first day of 6th grade because I was so nervousexcited??

And  the time I threw up on the first day of college because I took a vitamin on an empty stomach. 

(I've learned a lot since then, thanks for asking)

And the crowning time when I threw up because I boiled an egg, cut it in half, removed the yolk, filled the hole with salt and THEN ATE IT. 

(I know. I can't even.)

I'm a champ at this barfing thing guys. 

And at the rate I'm going, I'll have another cookie-tossing story for you next week. 

So stay tuned, OBVIOUSLY.