simple sunday

One of the things I love and hate most about this stage of life is the simplicity. We haven't spent money on clothes, or much in the way of dates, or anything excess really, for months. We just haven't been able to afford it. I know, however, that once Christian is working full time and we have a bigger and more steady paycheck, I'm going to miss the simplicity terribly. Money just doesn't buy happiness, you know? And sometimes that's hard to temper.

Anyways, last Sunday was just the most beautiful and simplest of days. I wanted to bask in it and never let it go. Time has a way of rushing on, much to my dismay. So I'm capturing it in the best way possible.

The morning always starts in a rush. Sunday morning was especially busy because Christian was teaching the first hour lesson. We got there, and he did great, as I knew he would. He's such a gifted teacher, and I love watching him do it. The rest of church was a blur of baby snuggles and hall walking and snack feeding. (hashtag youngfamilyatchurch am I right?).

My favorite part of Sundays is getting home, feeding Nash, and putting him down for his long afternoon nap. Christian and I try to squeeze in a nap ourselves, but this time we decided against it. Instead, we spent two heavenly hours in bed playing game after game of Ticket to Ride, intermingled with snuggling of course. Oh how I love the colder months for that reason! When Nash woke up, we fed him again and I started dinner. Tonight's menu was fire roasted tomato soup and biscuits. Christian manned the latter, while I whipped up this favorite soup of ours. After eating together and cleaning up, we decided to take advantage of the lack of snow and bundled up for a walk. We put the most adorable teddy bear hat on Nash, and fawned over him for a good 15 minutes before walking out the door. It's so ridiculous and fun to be doting parents to just one baby. I love that he can have all our attention right now.

We head out into the cold, and it engulfs and invigorates me. Something about being out on walks turns me into the biggest talker, at least, more so than usual. So that's what we do: talk and talk about the future, what we want to do with our lives, our time, our families. We talk about goals and dreams, while basking in the real dream that is our life currently. Strolling around Provo with my boys is absolutely my favorite thing in the world right now. Nash's bedtime approaches, so we turn around and head home. Christian offers to make popcorn and hot chocolate while I suit up baby boy for bed. After we put him down, we clean up our room and settle in for a nature show, a Sunday favorite. I am exhausted and don't last for more than 15 minutes. As I drift off, I can't imagine being luckier.

God is truly so so good to me.

liebster, schmiebster

I've had this liebster award hanging over my head for awhile now (not 1, not 2, but 3 nominations! Also thank  you Marla!) So third time's the charm I guess?

I "met" Danica through her blog. BLECH I just hate that because it makes things sound much creepier than they are. She's really the bees knees though (apparently this is the 50's now. Welcome to my blog, cool cats). Her blog cracks me up, and the only reason why I'm okay embracing this online-turned-real-life friendship is because she's the real deal and as great in person as she is via the internet. So thanks for nominating me, lady. Here are the questions she asked:

What blogs do you read every day? Well obviously Danica's, also Bonnie's, NieNie, Brooke's, and my dear friend's Chantel's and Kimber's. 

Where do you find inspiration for your blog? I really love people who are funny and REAL. So I guess when I read and see things like that, I'm inspired. Also my husband and baby. What a cliche.

Latest book you read AND should I read it? I'm currently reading Harry Potter but, been there done that. I also just finished reading Heaven is Here, and I loved it. Stephanie's love for her husband and motherhood is super inspiring.

If you could make ONE book mandatory reading for every American, what would it be? Can I say Harry Potter? Because seriously... Harry Potter. If I had to choose just one (why would that even be a rule?) it would probably be Deathly Hallows. SO GOOD.

Which song is the most played on your iPod/Spotify right now? It's not really one song, but the NSYNC Christmas album has been on repeat in our house for the last few weeks. Actually who am I kidding... more like every December for the last 14 years of my life.

Where is your best-kept-secret place to shop (for anything)? I totally love Trendy Xchange in Provo. Now the secret's out!

What’s the #1 thing on your Christmas Wish List? Honestly I would just love to find a place to live in Salt Lake. Our imminent move is starting to stress me out. Either that, or some earrings that my little guy can't pull out ha!

Who is your favorite Harry Potter character and why? I love that every other question is slanted to  Harry Potter. That's my life ha. I totally love Ron. If I went to Hogwarts, he'd probably be my MCM. Also Hagrid. And Dobby. ACK! This is too hard!

What is your must-have winter fashion item? Scarves, for sure. You never realize how cold your neck gets until you cover it.

What should I name my baby? Provide one boy and one girl name. Lilly and James. HA joke. I really love the names Owen and Ava!

I’m coming up on the crazy/fun/miserable lead-up to Christmas where all my kids eat candy and drive me insane. What is your best coping mechanism for when life is out of control? Oh man, if I knew the answer to this question, I wouldn't have eaten half a container of ice cream yesterday! For me it depends on the circumstance I guess. Sometimes ice cream helps (obviously), or bad reality tv, or a good sweat session at the gym, or painting my nails, or a trip to target, or watching videos of my laughing baby, or making out with my husband.... I guess just dabble in it all until you figure out what works.  

Thanks for nominating me Danica.
I keep waiting for the day when things like this make me an official blogger. 
Maybe it would help if I wrote more than just twice a month. What are you gonna do.

bad habits

Obviously "not writing stuff" is a bad habit I'm suffering from at the moment. Life's just hung me out to dry the last few weeks, so I'm recouping. Good news though, I'm back on my B Game
(a little less than A Game, but better than F Game!)
so. There's that.

Anyways, I've been thinking a lot lately about my bad habits, because I have a few that drive me crazy. I'm sure Christian could tell you that I've got WAY more bad habits than this (like tickling him which he HATES, but I honestly don't see the problem...), but here are the glaring ones that I've noticed lately. They make me laugh, and you're going to think I'm crazy.

I drink a ton of water. WHAT A BAD HABIT! 
Ha just joking. But because I drink so much, I have to refill my water bottle every hour or so during the day. When I'm at home, I usually turn the faucet on and let it run for 30 seconds or so, to cool down, because I like my water to be freezing. Usually I get distracted while that happens and wind up changing a diaper, or thinking "hey i haven't eaten!" and then start cooking something, or I hop in the shower, or I'm doing my makeup, and before I know it, the sink has been on for literally 20 minutes.

This happens at least once a day, I'm not kidding.

In the same vein, I'm awful about eating food and not finishing it. I can guarantee that there is always some bag of half eaten carrots, or several neglected granola bars in my bag. Last week there were 3 apples in there. THREE! In October, I also found a half eaten granola bar in our pantry that I can only assume I left there because Christian is an adult and finishes his food, and Nash is just like "gimme rice cereal." I have a hard time finishing meals lately too, because I'm usually navigating the circus that is feeding my 6 month old monkey.
I mean baby.
Why then, if I'm not eating, am I not 3 pant sizes smaller than before I got pregnant?
Spoiler alert: it's called donuts. I can definitely finish donuts.

So I guess what I need to learn from these bad habits is it's actually a deeper rooter issue: I don't follow through! I have all these plans like "drink water!" and "eat food!" and then I'm just like "yeah maybe not". And don't even get me started on the cookies I meant to take to our neighbor that somehow ended up disappearing instead...
(I lied. I can finish cookies AND donuts)

I need a life coach or something.

6 months!

This blogging thing cracks me up sometimes. For a few weeks I'm like "write all the time!" and then things get so busy and all I want to do is read Harry Potter during my spare moments. So I do.

But Nash is 6 months old tomorrow, and that I deem worthy of a post!

At 6 months, Nash is rolling all over the place. It's so fun to see him using this as his mode of transportation haha. Next stop... crawling! He's also sitting, and has been for almost a month now. He gets a huge kick out of this, which is adorable. He's eating lots of solids, and has done so well with everything we've introduced. Like his parents, boy loves his food! He's sleeping in nice long stretches at night, and we MOSTLY feel human in the morning ;) He's in the middle of his first cold, and handling it pretty well... as long as I don't use the snot-sucker ha. He loves his toys, being held, figuring out new faces and making them all the time, grabbing everything in sight, and primary songs.

I can't believe this adorable human is only 6 more months away from being a 1 year old. Time is seriously flying. I love my little buddy so very much! I'm so thankful I get to be his mom. I think that since May, I've learned and changed more than I did in our first two years of marriage!

(Maybe not... but man. Motherhood will stretch ya! And my imperfect self is so thankful for that!)

weekend warrior

I have been a total drama queen lately, sorry about that. I just really feel things. A lot. Ha!

So I'm gaining a new appreciation for weekends as this semester progresses and continues to drown us (Christian) in mountains of pointless STUFF. Not like I didn't love them before. Obviously. But they are as good as gold these days.

Last weekend was nothing special, but having so much time together was just the best. Friday night we made pumpkin ravioli with balsamic brown butter sauce for our dining-in date.
Guys. RAVIOLI IS THE WORST THING TO MAKE IN THE WHOLE WORLD. The name of the dish should have tipped me off. The end result was seriously delicious, but I advise against this endeavor unless you have a ravioli mold (we didn't) and a lot of patience (also didn't).

We also went to a birthday party which was fun, but the fun was overshadowed as I saw a little boy fall off a table. I'm being slightly dramatic, but seriously my mom fears about Nash falling off of things are a little out of control right now.
(He's already fallen off the couch and the bed so.... not unwarranted worries!)
Seriously, as a mom, that's the worst thing to witness!

I also tried out an easy, delicious new recipe for our Sunday dinner (I'm such a culinary fiend right now), and it was a hit. I love when that happens.

And church! We survived with flying colors! I actually really enjoyed the whole thing, AND neither one of us got spit up on! Win, win, win.

And can we talk about all the unadulterated time with my number one buddy? I miss him so much when I'm working and schooling during the week. Saturday and Sunday are the best for that reason. I didn't think it was possible before I became a mom, but seriously. He gets cuter every day, and I fall more and more in love each time I look at his sweet face.
And can you blame me?!
Christian and I are the luckiest!

be nice. you deserve it.

I recently read this article (YOU SHOULD READ IT TOO!) about postpartum care in the US, and I'm so frustrated by it's truth!
In this country, we have such a skewed idea of how quickly moms should bounce back and feel/look/act like normal again after having a baby. IT'S ABSURD and it needs to change.

My delivery was fairly normal, with minor complications. But in hindsight, I wish I had slowed down more, given myself more time to recover, and that I'd had a little more help. During delivery, I had an episiotomy, and both Nash and I had to be put on antibiotics because I had a fever the duration of my labor. Thankfully my mom was in town to help for a little while, but she was super sick the whole time and was also helping me at night, so she was equally exhausted during the day (darn babies!)
Christian went back to work one day after I gave birth.
I went grocery shopping THREE DAYS after I gave birth.
I went back to class LESS THAN A WEEK after I gave birth
I was doing laundry and cleaning.
I was so swollen because of over exerting myself that I could hardly walk.
Nursing killed. I bled from my boobs and bled even more from my lady parts!
My back was on fire all day, every day, because of having to realign itself over night.
And yet, in spite of being in a ton of pain, and completely exhausted, and emotionally stretched to my limits, I still felt the pressure to get up! Do more! Be more! And I know I'm not alone in this.

Why is this the case? Can we not stop and appreciate what our bodies go through for pregnancy and child birth? Whether you deliver vaginally or via C-Section, both are MAJORLY traumatic events for our bodies and require weeks, if not MONTHS, to recover from. Stop expecting yourself, and others, to bounce back immediately! Our bodies need time to heal, and it's okay.

On a larger scale, we MUST be nice to our post-baby bodies and other women with post-baby bodies. This is a deeply emotional and difficult change for some, and it's okay to take some time to heal in this regard too.  I loved this response that Jennifer Garner gave on Ellen a few days ago, when she was asked for the millionth time if she was expecting again. If you are a normal human being, your body will NOT be the same after you have a baby. No matter how thin or in shape or healthy you were. Let's accept that, treat our bodies kindly, feed them right, sleep them right, exercise them right, and move on. It's exhausting to see and feel judgment from other women, and for women to be so hard on themselves. I'm tired of it. It needs to stop. The messages we ought to be spreading are those of love and support and happiness and excitement. And this needs to be shared both with other women and with OURSELVES.

Let us be gentle and loving to new moms. Let us be gentle and loving to ourselves. Let us reach out and serve WITHOUT being asked. Let us stop judging and expecting so much and realize that although we can be superwomen, we can also ask for help. And we should. Let us give others the opportunity to serve us. Let us love our bodies and ourselves for BRINGING A LIFE INTO THIS WORLD. For squeezing out a melon-sized object, and for being able to love and nurture unconditionally despite the battering and bruising! Mothers, you are amazing. Having a baby is hard enough. Let's ease the burden on others and ourselves and reach out.
You need it.
Your neighbor needs it.
And this doesn't just apply to mothers.
WE ALL NEED IT.
We all need to realize that we are amazing for the things we do day in, day out.
Amazing for going to work. For cooking dinner for your little family, again. Amazing for exercising when you didn't want to. Amazing for listening to your friend express her sorrows over the phone. Amazing for giving yourself a break because you recognize you need it. For dealing with yet another miscarriage. For breastfeeding at 2 in the morning for the 6th day in a row. For struggling with infertility and putting on a happy face. For cleaning your house. For talking to the clerk at the grocery store. For scoring an amazing deal at Target. For loving your in-laws. For serving your husband. For eating some ice cream because you deserve it! For not buying those shoes. For BUYING those shoes!
You are just plain amazing. And you need to know that.

As women, we have been given an amazing capacity to love and serve.
Now, let's go out and DO THAT. 

happy things

+ Christian is finally reading Harry Potter (it only took me 6 years to convince him!), and he's digging it. I do a happy dance inside my head every time we talk about it.

+ Cold, fresh air! Breathing it in deeply makes my head so clear and makes me feel so alive. I look like a lunatic woman in labor walking around campus like "deep breath in....and exhale. AHHHHHHH" but I don't even care.

+ A kind, anonymous, member of our ward left me a little note on Monday morning thanking me for playing the piano on Sundays. If you read my last post, you know that's way dramatic for me sometimes haha. Heavenly Father truly puts angels in our lives right when we need them!

+ My sweet baby boy has been teething and was the mayor of Crankville yesterday. I thought for sure it was his teeth bugging him, but after two HUGE poops and a much happier disposition today, I'm pretty sure it was just constipation. Hahaha boys!

+ October! Which means the Twilight Zone watching can begin! Like every other person in the world, I just really freaking love this month.

ohhh sundays

I've always loved the Sabbath.
It's great to have an excuse to listen to beautiful music, spend time with people I love, cook lots of good food, and not do homework (that's been my favorite excuse for the last 6 years, if we're being real here!)

Then I had a baby, and my perception of Sundays has changed quite a bit. My morning goes something like:
Head pops off pillow, brain is like:
"Oh no. It's Sunday. IT'S SUNDAY"

Nash is old enough now that he won't sleep through every meeting like he used to. Instead, he misses his morning nap and fusses super loudly unless we are holding him juuuust right. I spend half of relief society feeding him, burping him, changing him, and cleaning up the inevitable 5 spit ups that happen immediately after he's done eating. The rest of relief society is spent running back and forth from my chair to the piano so I can magnify my calling, while simultaneously handing my babe off to a willing woman, praying the whole time whilst fumbling through a song "Please don't start crying. Please don't spit up on her...." Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Sunday school and sacrament meeting are no different. Singing songs, playing with toys, shushing, standing up and down and back up again, and "pass the wipes" and "here's the blanket" and "where's his binky" and the list goes on. And then we rush home from church to feed the baby, attempt to get him down for a nap, and then visit teach and make dinner and bake a treat and call our families and catch our breath somewhere in there.

The crazy thing to me is that I KNOW I'm not alone in this busy Sunday routine. Every parent with a young child or children knows exactly how this is. It's so hard! As I sat in the mother's room yesterday, rocking my boy to sleep for what felt like the tenth time, hot tears of frustration and defeat rolled down my cheeks. I kept thinking "I can't do this every week! I'm not getting anything out of these meetings! I leave church feeling more flustered and disheveled than I did when I came!"

And then I'm reminded of the sweet remark made in the General Women's meeting on Saturday night. It's not so much about making it to each of the meetings on Sunday.
What matters is my faith.
And faith I've definitely got. I know that attempting to make it to church on time, and playing the piano, and singing primary songs to my son while I sit by myself in the hall, and trying to retain at least 5 seconds of spiritual enlightenment, and doing my visiting teaching, and spending time with my family, are the things I should be doing.

And if I have to spend the majority of church sitting in the foyer for the next however many years, well I'll be darned then I'm going to keep doing it! Because through all the frustration and frazzled moments, I know I'm not alone. I know I'm getting the help I need. I love my family, and I love this church, and I know this is all what I should be doing.

oh so grateful!

First I just have to say thanks for all the thoughts in regards to my last post. I know I sounded like a hormonal freak (truth!), but it's something I've struggled with for a long time actually! I've got a good handle on it a lot of the time, but since I haven't dealt with in almost a year, it has sort of knocked me off my feet the last few months. Keep on keepin' on, that's how I feel about it. Anyways. 

So I'm like every other woman on the planet and totally fangirling about autumn and boots and pumpkins and blllaaaaahh. This year however, I can't help but feel especially thankful for this beautiful time of year because last fall, I was hunched over a toilet for 4 months straight and couldn't appreciate any of it's beauty. I didn't eat ONE SINGLE PUMPKIN FLAVORED ITEM because it made me so ill. We didn't buy any fall scented candles, I could hardly handle the smell of the leaves (I KNOW!), it's a sob story, really. I was super nervous all summer long because any time I thought of anything related to fall, it literally made me sick to my stomach. 

Morning sickness is a B. 

Anyways, I'm thrilled because I'm surviving and loving it so far! We made a list of things we want to do (the bulk is a bunch of old movies we want to watch, so... we're boring), and I've been bit by the baking bug. Which is strange because normally I abhor baking. My waist is probably going to wish I abhored it by the time January rolls (har har) around but, what are you gonna do. 

And I've decided having a baby during this time of year is officially the best. Because this:

Happy Friday!

girl talk

This is a post about periods. You've been warned.
So, now that that's outta the way...

Mine came back a measly two months after giving birth. What's with all that crap about breastfeeding supposedly keeping it away?! Oh yeah, crap, that's what.

I forgot how much I loved that part of being pregnant. Not only that, but my hormones were just dreamy. I'm WAY better off pregnant in that regard. (Probably that will be a factor in how quickly I want another baby. Just don't tell Christian ;) )

Anyways, you guys. I need to know I'm not alone and I need to get some ideas for how to combat the wretched week and a half before aunt flo arrives. I seriously have the worst PMS in the world. I'm exhausted all the time (and having a baby/being in school/working doesn't help that of course!), I feel like I cry at the drop of a hat, I don't want to do anything that I normally love, I feel neglected by my husband if he's not fawning over me and telling me how awesome I am 24 hours a day, I want to eat ALL THE CANDY, my patience is non-existent, and basically I hate almost every second of the day. Then my period comes and I'm like "WOW! I'm a freaking new woman! I love life! Do all the things!" And then rainbows shoot out of my eyes because seriously, that's how much energy I feel like I gain overnight.

Here's my dilemma: I don't know how to deal with this! I consistently exercise 4-5 times a week (even when I'm PMS-y), I eat pretty healthy (the occasional donuts, candy and soda aside. HEY WE CAN'T ALL BE PERFECT!), I'm trying to get enough sleep, and I'm not on BC because that stuff is just... too much. What are some other things I can do? Magical herbal concoctions? TV shows that will take my mind off the doom and gloom? A comfort food? A pill I'm not taking? Hey, I'll even take a spell at this point. Alas, we don't live in the land of Harry Potter, so that option is probably last on the list.

Am I the only one who deals with this on this level? Hormones are great for some things (winkwink), but they just wreck me sometimes, and I need some sister love and help.

Seriously though. Send chocolate and a Meg Ryan movie stat.

Nash at 4 months

You guys. I'm dying over how fun things are with this boy right now.
I'm sure I will feel that way about every stage, but seriously I'm eating this up.
Here are some stats and things I'm loving about our Nashy boy at the moment:

Height: 26 inches
Weight: 16.7 lbs
Head: BIG. Like 98th percentile big ha!

We've been giving him rice cereal for a few weeks, thus everything is getting a little stinkier. Seriously his farts are OUT OF CONTROL smelly. Ahhh, such a boy!!

He loves to hold and play with your hands and fingers. For some reason they are way more engaging than any toy we give him. It also really helps him fall asleep if he can hold our hands. So cute!

He gets so distracted when he nurses that I have to cover his face so he won't look around, come unlatched, flail, etc.

He totally loves having his diaper changed. Nothing like a little breeze, right buddy?

He's so talkative when he's just sitting by himself. Especially when we are in the car. It's the cutest!

He still spits up like a champ. I'm SO ready for that phase to end!

Mostly, he's just the happiest, most content, and curious boy. He RARELY gets full on screaming upset, and he's perfectly fine just sitting on your lap observing his surroundings. He knows who mom and dad are, and is starting to notice when he's with a stranger and not one of us. He's not a huge fan of that, which sort of melts my mama heart. I love this little boy more than words can say!

new mom confessions

Another post about being a mother?!
Are you really surprised? ;)

So lately I've been thinking a lot about my insecurities as a new mom. Guys, they are ENDLESS. Especially because I feel like I didn't do, and am still not doing, everything I could have to prepare. Here are some of my confessions, try not too cringe too much!

- I didn't read a single pregnancy or parenting book, and I still haven't. I've perused plenty of websites, but no actual books. I feel sort of guilty about it, but every time I dive too deep in information, it overwhelms me and makes me second guess literally everything I'm doing. I figure my baby is happy and healthy, and Christian and I don't hate each other, so I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing!

- I am currently surviving on a diet coke and one treat a day. That's not ALL I'm eating of course (I'm the queen of healthy dinners, POW!), but I seriously can't survive without the little shot of caffeine and little shot of chocolate. Again, baby is happy and healthy, so who gives right?

- Sometimes, I just have to let my little guy sit and fuss because I can't muster up the energy to be cheerful and help him. I give it about 5 minutes, and then he starts doing something funny and it helps me feel better. Also, I have a stock of hilarious videos of him that I watch when he's making me crazy. It ALWAYS brightens my mood.

- I feel guilty for not having a firm bedtime routine established for Nash. Is it horrible that I don't bathe him and read to him EVERY single night?

- I also feel guilty when Christian wakes up and helps me in the middle of the night (more like 4:30 in the morning, but you know. Still fracking early!). But seriously, I will go crazy if I have to do that on my own!

Honestly I could go on and on with this list, but I'd hate to look any less perfect than I already am ha! So there you have it.

you know you're a mom when...

Firstly, your babies don't always love you.

1. It is perfectly acceptable to have spit up or pee in your hair at some point. It is also acceptable to continue wearing clothes that have been covered in said spit up and/or pee. Not only is this acceptable, but encouraged. Stains are simply a new staple in your wardrobe.
Another load of laundry? Aint nobody got time for that!

2. With great effort, it IS possible to be romantic with your long lost spouse-turned-roommate. Make an effort to hold hands, send sweet texts, and reconnect at the end of the day, even if it's just for 5 minutes. You're in this together, and you both need support from one another.
Baby's finally asleep? Go ahead and make out a little. There's nothing a little kissing can't fix.

3. Try and find a few other friends with babies, because as hard as your childless friends will try to care about how long your baby slept last night, their eyes will glaze over eventually.
And that spitting up story you want to tell them? They'd probably be fine if you didn't.
It's just nice to have a few friends with babies to swap baby stories with, you know?

4. Talking in a baby voice all the time will be your new normal. And you will love it.

5. You will never NOT feel tired. Its gets easier after a few months, but the exhaustion will always be looming. It's harsh, but get used to it as soon as you can and try to live your life as normal.
That's easier said than done of course, and takes a while to adjust to!

6. Everything your child does will be the freaking cutest thing you've ever seen in your whole entire life.
Burps and farts included.

7. As hard as it is, try not to feel guilty for having some "me time". It's necessary, and you will go crazy without it! Make sure it's something you love too, be it exercise, painting your nails, watching your favorite movie, strolling through Target, or all of the above. Plan it out if you need to, but whatever you do, make sure it happens. You deserve it. You squeezed something the size of a melon out of your body, after all!

8. All those reservations you've ever had about poo, boogers, throwup and pee? Yeah kiss those good bye and hone that gag reflex, and fast. Babies are known to dish out all 4 at the same time with little regard to convenience.

9. Postpartum hair loss is no joke. As if birth wasn't cruel enough, just when you feel like you've returned to normal, all your hair starts to fall out and you legitimately feel like Gollum.

Thanks for nothing, hormones.

10. Anyone who looks like they've got it together right after having a baby is pulling one over on you. Behind the perfect hair, the cute clothes, and the flawless smile is a mom who is feeling just as frazzled as you are. Go easy on yourself and enjoy the craziness, because it will pass way too quickly.

all the feelings

One thing I really struggled with at the beginning of our marriage was feeling frustrated about something and not always knowing WHY. Something would happen that would upset me, but it wasn't necessarily that exact moment that upset me. More like... a culmination of moments?
Another thing I really struggled with was being willing to tell Christian why I was upset, once I actually figured it out of course. Confrontation isn't really my thing, and I'm always quick to shove my emotions aside to spare the other party, to a fault. I'm sure this is why I have a hard time knowing why I'm upset sometimes... because I often don't take the time to figure it out myself before I bury it!
Anyways.

I'm lucky I married a man who isn't quick to ignore me when I'm upset. Christian is very good at prodding, eventually getting it out of me. It's something I've had to word very hard on the last few years; pinpointing exactly WHAT has frustrated me (like I said, it's usually a combination of things. SO MANY FEELINGS!), and then being willing to diplomatically explain it to Christian.
That's not always easy to do! Especially if he is the perpetrator! After sorting through your emotions, then you have to express it to this person you can simultaneously love/want to kill to death, without being too unkind or offensive!
Also, sometimes things will happen that make me mad, and it's almost like I need a target (sound familiar to anyone?). So even if Christian isn't the guilty party, I still end up feeling frustrated at him.
Like "Why can't he read my mind and make everything better already?!" 

Being a woman is hard sometimes. There's always a million thoughts parading around our brains, endless comparisons between whatever this and whatever that, often feeling like we fall short in every aspect of life, and let's not even talk about the emotional and hormonal roller coasters we have to endure! It's exhausting trying to sort it all out, and stay sane, which is why I guess it's awesome (AND NEEDED) sometimes to just have a good cry over nothing, binge eat ice cream, and watch totally worthless crap television.
Moose Tracks and the Bachelor are usually my drugs of choice ;)

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this today. I guess I'm just feeling the weight of being... human, I guess? Ha! Just gotta take a load off sometimes, you know?

Am I the only one who struggles with these things? Because so often I feel like my emotions and thoughts are so frayed and scrambled that it's not even worth trying to figure myself out!

from babies to babies

Christian and I met 6 years ago this week! (Technically yesterday, but... details.)

I can't hardly believe it! We were 18 year old babies and now we are makin babies of our own. Crazy how much time changes things.

Have I ever told you how we met? Cause I'm about to. Christian's side of it is a little different, of course. Maybe I will be able to convince him to share it. Probably not though. Anyways, I digress!

I came to BYU with my best friend in the whole world, Nicole. Guys, we were crazy. We still are, but our levels of crazy back then were unprecedented. 

Not like "go out and party all night" kind of crazy... a unique crazy, that involves taping pictures of Morgan Freeman to our wall, and putting nylons on our head and chasing our other friend Kaylie around the dorms kind of crazy. This is vital information, because I was so wrapped up in being crazy with Nicole when Christian and I "first met" that I literally don't remember it. 

We were in the same freshman ward, you see. And it was at our ward opening social that we were first introduced. I remember there being boys, but more than anything I remember goofing off with my girlfriends. Sounds like the theme of my teenage years. So. There's that.

I'm horrible, I know. 

What I  DO remember is on our first Sunday, noticing the cute boy at ward prayer (ohhh BYU) who was wearing mocs and glasses and a Jimmy Eat World shirt. A staple of cool, in my book. It didn't take long before I realized this boy was also hilarious and sharp and perfect best friend material. Obviously I was smitten, and I HAD to have him.

Somehow I convinced him to take a Book of Mormon class with me the following semester. And not only that, I also convinced him that he wanted to sit next to me every day too. It really didn't take long before I realized Christian is totally my kind of crazy, which is probably why we clicked so well then.

Long story short, I convinced him to stick around even longer, and we've been "sitting" next to each other ever since. 

Man I love this boy. 

changes and motherhood and love and stuff

I've so enjoyed the time I've had at home with my Nashy boy this summer. It's been a whirlwind, and little busier than expected, but sweet nonetheless. My last semester (!!!) starts in a little over a week, and as much as I'm looking forward to a change in routine, I'm also forgetting that it means more time away from my little side kick, which I'm NOT looking forward to!

The last 4 months of motherhood have been quite the learning experience, and have changed me a lot quicker than I could have ever imagined.

I've always been a planner. Like, SERIOUS planner. I like to know what's going on in my life a week or two (or five) in advance, and I don't do well with things being thrown at me unexpectedly. It makes me frustrated and resentful and a little bit crazy. So yeah, hashtag control freak. Knowing this, you'd probably think new momhood would throw me for a loop, but I've been pleasantly surprised at how I've adjusted. I'm sure it's purely because I love my little man more than life itself, but I'm not losing my mind over the inconsistency! Sure, I know that he needs to eat about every 3 hours during the day, but that's about it. Those are the only sure things in life with him right now, and I'm totally okay with that.

What works today, probably won't work tomorrow! And just when we thought we had Nash and his routine figured out, he will do something like stop napping during the day, and all the sudden I'm like:

"Okay dude. I don't know what I'm doing and you don't know what you're doing and that's fine and we will figure it out together as we go along and pass the ice cream!" 

Or something like that ;) 

I'm amazed at how much love can mold a person into someone entirely new. The old Brooke is still here, obsessed with Josh Groban and animals and Zumba and other weird stuff. But a new Brooke is emerging. She's more mellow and better at rolling with the punches. She loves nothing more than baby talk and shopping for boy clothes, and she spends the better part of each day nursing, covered in spit up, and discussing the poop habits of her 4 month with her husband. It's not glamorous, it's not romantic, and it definitely isn't easy, but it's motherhood for me right now and I love it. My love for this child is all consuming and over the moon, and I'll welcome each and every change it thrusts upon me, in all its poopy glory. 

Love, man. It's an incredible thing. 

update shmupdate

AH!
It feels like things have been running a million miles around here basically since the day Nash was born, and I'm just now finding time here and there to slooooooowwww down. Parenthood I guess?

Anyways, the last month or so has been a good one! Nash and I made our way down to Florida for a month, where we soaked up the last bit of sun, and time with my family, before they move to Michigan. Florida to Michigan, I know right?!

Could you just die over his chubby, pale body in that swimsuit? Heart eyes, seriously. 

Also he loved the pool, which was shocking to all of us. But then again, most content baby ever so....

In the middle of our trip, my cousin got married in D.C., where we then spent a week playing tourist. I miss that wonderful city. I can't believe we were lucky enough to live there!
Nash was amazing the whole time. He hardly fussed, sleeping 7 hours a night, blah blah blah wonderful baby blah blah. I was pinching myself, believe me!

And now we are back in Utah, enjoying time together as our little family of 3 before school and real life starts again. Christian officially accepted a full time job in Salt Lake after we finish in December, so I dare say this is the last of our semi-relaxing student life for a while. It's incredible that after 6 years, it is coming to and end. Admittedly, Provo has a giant piece of my heart I don't think I will ever get back. I love my sweet, weird college town.

Also, I still can't get over the fact that we will be in SLC for several more years.
And I'm a little excited about it?
What's happening to me?!

Now we just need someone to find us an apartment. Any takers? ;)

I'm still here!

Oh hey. 
I feel like such a stranger to this space right now. In the 5 years I've been writing on this silly ol' blog, I've never completely missed a month and not written anything. That gives you an idea of how things have been going around here!

Truth be told, June was a wonderful month. Albeit crazy, but wonderful. My mom left towards the end of May, and about 4 days later, Christian started his new job. The poor guy wakes up at 4:30 and leaves the house at 5 every day, and usually comes home around 6:30 or 7 every night. It's a rough schedule, and we are getting pretty tired of it. But we're halfway there! (Cue Bon Jovi song.)

Also I was taking my capstone class during spring term, and basically I don't know how I survived that by myself all day, with a brand new baby.
Nash is pretty near perfect, that's how.

See what I mean?!

Thankfully my in-laws came into town and kept me company for about a month. It was so fun to have them here and to share our little guy with them! In that same month, I also got to see my little brother and my best friend in the entire world, AND her little baby! Let me tell you, after dreaming with each other for the last 14 years about being married and having children, finally getting together and enjoying that reality was just beyond the best.

Good thing our children didn't make it into the picture.

Life with Nash is so much fun. He really gets better, and cuter, every single day. It's truly amazing how quickly time seems to be flying by, and how little I get done some days ha. It's hard sometimes, and I can get a little lonely and frustrated, but everything you've ever heard about parenting is totally true. It's all worth it. Every hard moment totally evaporates when that little person you love more than anything flashes you a gummy smile. It's so fun to watch this tiny human grow, develop a personality, and experience new things every day.

At 9 weeks, Nash is still just growing like a weed. He's pushing 15 pounds already! He loves being outside and going on walks, laying in the sheets on our bed, and standing (with mom and dad's help of course). He's been sleeping great, eating great, and never cries unless he's too hungry or too tired (totally got that from his mom). Truly, he's such a good baby, and Christian and I are counting our blessings. Not very many first-time parents get that lucky, and we certainly don't deserve it! My only complaint is that he spits up a TON. I mean like 6, 7, 8 times a day. I didn't mind at first, but I'm starting to feel like everything I ever wear always has a giant wet spot on it at all times. Why bother getting dressed, am I right? Oh well, I guess he couldn't be completely perfect, or that just wouldn't be fair ;)

Being a mom is just awesome and crazy and exhausting and fun. I can't believe how much time I spend changing diapers and feeding and holding and rocking and playing with my boy. I'm trying not to stress about keeping our apartment spotless, or always making dinner, or even showering every day. It's hard to balance it all (the theme of the next 20+ years of my life, I imagine!), but it's fun learning how and trying to navigate this new phase of life. I'm super grateful for my little family! These handsome boys make my world go round.

welcoming baby nash

I'm currently sitting on our couch, snuggling a sad little baby.
He was circumcised today, which was the WORST for this new mamma.
Speaking of being a mamma, along with this sweet baby on my chest, I've got a mix of spit up, drool and baby tylenol coating my shirt, and it's just the best.
Even the grossest parts of motherhood feel so sweet to me. 
(Read: the poop I got on my hands yesterday. Yes, even that!)

It's been 2 weeks and 2 days since our precious little boy entered the world and already the process is feeling a bit hazy to me. Labor and delivery was such an amazing and precious, albeit painful, experience. And one that is absolutely worth sharing.

I went to the doctor to have my membranes swept on Monday the 5th, 10 days before my due date, around 5pm I was already dilated to about a 3 and 90% effaced, so we were pretty sure the membrane sweeping would really push things along.
At about 6, I was already feeling the onset of contractions. They weren't horrible, but I could definitely tell that they were contractions! We went to the store, came home and ate tacos for dinner, and by 8, things were intensifying. We waited around for about an hour, I don't really remember what we were doing. I think I talked to my mom for a bit while Christian was hurrying to tidy up and pack a bag for the hospital. The way things were going, we were pretty sure we'd have our little guy that night!

By 9ish, my contractions were about 30 seconds long and only a few minutes apart, and we decided it was time to head to the hospital. I was pretty uncomfortable at that point, but it was bearable still.
Oh if I had only known what was to come ha!

Hospital, round 1. Feeling much better than I would in a few hours!

We got to the hospital, they hooked me up to the necessary machines, and proceeded to monitor me for an hour. 2 Friends episodes later, they came back and told me I wasn't progressing fast enough and they had to send me home. We were pretty grouchy about that since I was already dilated and effaced a good amount. Our nurse even told us she knew we'd be back later that night, so who knows why they sent us home but whatever. They gave me a bunch of morphine and phenergan, told me to go home and sleep and that if the contractions stopped, I was in false labor and I'd just need to wait it out. I found out about an hour later that it definitely wasn't false labor!

We got home around 11:30, and by that point the meds had kicked in and I was WAY loopy. I was so sleepy, but the pain was really vamping up so I couldn't relax and embrace the exhaustion very well. I knew we'd be heading back to the hospital in a few hours, so I tried to lay down and fall asleep but at that point, my contractions were only about 2 minutes apart and getting very intense, so sleep was essentially futile. Christian and I laid in bed for a few hours, while he slept and I timed my contractions. By about 1:45, my contractions had been consistent, long and frequent enough that I knew it was go time. I couldn't take the pain anymore, so I got out of bed in an attempt to get ready and leave. WOW the pain was so intense at that point! I don't remember when I started crying, but by the time we were heading out the door, I had been sobbing for a good 30 minutes. I'm sure it was partly because I was so tired, but I have never experienced pain that intense. It was almost unbearable!

Thankfully the drive to the hospital was short, and when we got there, a nice security guard was able to wheel me up to labor and delivery while Christian parked the car. At this point, it was close to 3am. I don't really remember much about getting to the hospital room except for the fact that I was crying again as I changed out of my clothes and kept apologizing to the nurses haha. Labor is so dramatic! Christian was so wonderful through this whole process. He helped me concentrate during the contractions, told me I was doing a good job, and really made the whole thing feel much more manageable. Certainly I couldn't have done it without him!

I finally got settled, they checked me, and I was dilated to a 5 and 100% effaced! They could give me an epidural! I had to wait about 20 minutes, which felt like an eternity of course. The epidural wasn't bad at ALL. It was the local anesthetic they gave me that hurt the most actually ha. For some reason, my right side wouldn't numb at ALL so the doctor had to give me 3 rounds of the epidural. Talk about the most epic knockout of my life. My whole lower body felt like it was levitating by the time the medicine fully kicked in haha. I was so thankful not to feel those contractions anymore!

I also had a fever, which had them worried about the baby of course. So along with the epidural, they had me hooked up to an antibiotic as well. I can't believe how I tired I was at that point! The fever, along with not sleeping, the strain of contracting for so many hours, and the overall stress in general, had me totally wiped. Admittedly, I was worried about how I was going to push a baby out of me when I was already that exhausted haha. 

On my drugs, feeling exhausted, and much much better!

At that point, it was about 4 am and we just had to wait for my body to progress. I was in and out of sleep for a few hours (mostly out, because they had to come check me and rotate me what felt like a million times!). Christian was so great and kept everyone updated via text the whole time, until he finally was able to sleep for about an hour and a half. Around 7, my nurse came back and checked me and said I was dilated to 10! I was going to be able to start pushing!

I bravely (or stupidly? :) ) decided I wanted to see what was going on, so they set up a mirror for me. I'm so glad I did that! It was amazing to see my body progressing like that! Christian stood by one of my legs while my nurse took the other. It was very surreal at that point. Pushing always seemed like such a dramatic event, so to only have 3 of us in the room while I calmly breathed through every push felt much different than I had imagined. It was amazing from the very beginning because I could see his head so quickly! They had been telling me for over a week that he was sitting really low, and they were right!

I was so tired by then that I was falling asleep and having dreams in between pushing intervals haha! I would only sleep for maybe a minute or two, which is so funny to me! Again, labor is so dramatic. After pushing for about an hour and a half while being coached by my sweet husband and darling nurse, little man had descended enough that it was time to get the doctor. Christian said it was like he was suiting up for battle when he came in... putting on his gear with so much precision and all haha. By this point, I was so anxious to keep pushing and get this baby out that things felt like they moved really quickly! Because both the baby and I had a fever, his heart rate was really high and the doctor decided he needed to use forceps to help speed things up. I didn't love the idea, but I knew it would help him be safe so we went ahead. After giving me a quick episiotimy, briefly using the forceps, and tugging nice and hard, little Nash was finally born!!!!

Holding my precious babe for the first time!

Nash Harrison Carter, 8lbs 13oz and 20.5 inches long.

Seeing him for the first time and hearing him cry was so surreal. The whole thing felt almost out of body, partly because I was so exhausted and partly because this little piece of heaven was literally in the room with us! I couldn't believe how much hair he had, how big he was, and how familiar he felt to me. It was so sweet to sit and look at him with Christian for the first time. 

I didn't get to hold him too long because they wanted to get him on an antibiotic fairly quickly. We spent the next 2 days in the hospital recovering and enjoying time together as a new little family. Thankfully my mom had gotten on a plane that morning and she made it from Florida to Utah by that afternoon! It was so fun to see her face when she walked in the room and saw Nash for the first time! I was so thankful to have her and Christian there, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. 

We love you little Nashy Boy and we are so glad you're here!

a final pregnancy post: bests and worsts

I mentioned this in my last post, but I'm getting my membranes stripped tonight so I really have no idea what to expect over these next few days. Baby could be here by tomorrow (AH!) or it could be another week. Pregnancy is basically over! And in the spirit of reflection.....

First Trimester

Best: Positive pregnancy test, hearing the heart beat, finding out the gender, and eating my weight in otter pops! Obviously!

Worst: Being so sick I could literally have died, working two jobs, being in school, etc. I am happy I won't have to do that again! Also the one time I projectile vomited all over the kitchen, wall, my slippers, etc. Funny now. Definitely not in the moment! And I still have a hard time eating honey bunches of oats ha.

Second Trimester:

Best: Finally starting to show, wearing maternity clothes (maternity jeans ftw!), feeling the baby move, Christian feeling the baby move, getting the hook up with so much fun baby gear at Christmas, week 18 and finally feeling better!

Worst: Oh the sciatica! I was practically immobile sometimes! So strange that it went away as I got bigger. 

Third Trimester:

Best: Much stronger movements resulting in seeing my belly move, finally getting some comments from strangers (it only took about 35 weeks haha!), getting bigger, Christian talking to my belly and feeling our little guy respond to dad's voice. Too cute. 

Worst: Not much to complain about other than being really tired, pretty achy, and having rag doll joints. That's been a very strange feeling.

I'm getting so anxious to meet this little guy. Let's get him here already!

the end and beginning

Lately, I've really been enjoying the simple things about life.
Moving in to a new apartment (not exactly a simple process but it's so nice just being there)
Walking to and from the car while the weather is nice.
Sleeping in our own bed after months of not.
Anticipating a simple date, like a walk around the neighborhood.
Ice cream at Maceys.
Attending wedding festivities with my dreamboat.
Packing hospital bags.
Looking at tiny baby clothes.
Buying a new air freshener.
Living close to campus again.

A few days ago, my doctor said he would strip my membranes for me (TMI? sry!).
It caught me totally by surprise, and I told him no... but it's officially going to happen on Monday!
I'm sure I'm enjoying these simple life moments because something inside me knows how much it's all going to change starting next week, if all goes as planned of course. In many ways, life as I know it is ending with the arrival of this baby. It blows my mind when I think about how much it's all going to change.
In so many ways though, life is just beginning. And I'm sure I can't even grasp the magnitude of it all.
I can't wait to meet this sweet little boy!

and a happy anniversary to us

We've been married for two years.

A small drop of water in the big bucket of life, but it still feels like a milestone!

I could go on and get extra mushy, but instead I wanted to share some of my favorite moments from our marriage so far, taken from a little letter I wrote to Christian in celebration of the occasion. Don't worry, list has been appropriately edited ;)

10. Trips to the National Portrait Gallery in D.C. Our infatuation with that place surprised me, and I love the memories we have of spending hours there together. And walking through Georgetown. And visiting Philly. And everything about our time in D.C.!

9. Solo beach trips when we lived in Florida. It was so fun getting that time alone with you in such a beautiful, peaceful place. Nothing short of bliss!

8. Our date to Slab Pizza right at the beginning of my pregnancy. I was so so sick, but for some reason the food tasted wonderful that night, and the smells didn't bother me at all. We sat and talked for a really long time, and it's still one of my favorite dates with you. Simple and happy!

7. Attempting to grill on the little sidewalk outside our apartment in Orem last summer. It was time consuming, and sort of a pain, but I LOVED doing that with you!

6. Biking 30 something miles on the Murdock Trail last year and getting unbelievably sunburned. Chugging through those last horrid miles and laughing about how dumb the whole thing was when we got home. I LOVE biking with you, even if you totally kill me!

5. Last year when we would have our Taco Tuesday date nights at Rubios and stop for frozen yogurt afterwards. And basically every memory we have of enjoying our favorite food together!

4. Finding out we got an extra night in Myrtle Beach on our honeymoon, and splurging on our last dinner there. After spending so much time on the road, all of that was such a welcome relief! 

3. Reading The Firm out loud together. Such a random thing to do, but it was so fun to get as engrossed as we did!

2.  Camping in Sand Hollow, and everything associated with that trip. Watching the repellers for an hour after our super hot hike. Bobbing in the water with our walmart pool floats... We were so stressed to be in the water haha! And talk about stressed... let's not even revisit our attempt at climbing the entirety of angels landing ha! I felt so bad for freaking out at the top because I knew how bad you wanted to finish. But as usual, you were completely fine complying with my wishes. That was the best vacation with you, for so many reasons!

1. Finding out our little family would be growing from 2 to 3. I cried and cried that morning, I was so happy. I've loved hearing you talk about our "team" through this whole pregnancy and I can't wait to watch you become a dad to little man. I'm sorry I didn't wait to tell you I was pregnant until we were together, but I'm so glad that you were as thrilled as I was.

I feel so lucky to have found someone who can tolerate me enough to want to spend his life with me. Not many people get that lucky. I love you more and more every day Christian!

2 years down, and hopefully a million more to go! 

a few things

Because we are horrible people, everyone in my family makes fun of our dog Gus because he seriously has the most crazed, goofy eyes I've ever seen. See left dog for details.

I'm really loving the latest Kings of Leon album. If you're looking for some sassy southern rock music for your summer soundtrack, I recommend listening to the song Family Tree. It's really groovy.

This morning before I even woke up, I was dreaming about taking a nap. I think I've officially reached a new level of tired. I guess I should get used to that because I will have a newborn in about 3 weeks......

This weekend also marks our 2 year anniversary. Time sure flies! So, here's a wedding picture, aaaaand you're welcome.

This year is the first time I've finished my finals before the very last day in a looong time. Once I saved 3 exams for the last day ha. IDIOT.

Speaking of finals... they're over! And now I'm just 2 classes away from graduation! I could kiss something. It will probably be Christian.
And on that note......

The end.

8 months down, a month to go!

I seriously cannot believe I'm 36 weeks pregnant. 

I remember trudging through that AWFUL first trimester and feeling like: 

"The end will never get here! 

I will be pregnant foreverrrrrrr!"

And now here I sit and I can almost see my due date! AH!

Isn't that how it goes?

Here is the latest update-a-roo, folks. And I'm feeling pretty verbose today, so buckle up.

34 weeks, 

preworkout, 

and looking very tired and very pregnant ha. 

Mostly I just took this picture because LOOK HOW HIGH THIS BABY WAS SITTING

35 weeks.

36 weeks.

Aaaaand we're back to taking classy bathroom pictures.
I definitely feel like he's dropped a little bit, thank goodness!

Weight gain:

My not-really-gaining-weight phase sure ended with a bang. At my last doctor's appointment I was up 19 lbs, with more to come I'm sure!

Also just a comment about pregnancy weight gain... it's funny to me how much I can feel it! Specifically when we go to Body Pump at the gym, and the teacher's like "Okay now do push ups!" I literally can't get through more than like..... 5. Seriously. Imagine a lady 8 months pregnant doing push ups ha! It's really as funny as it sounds.

Sleep: 

Getting much harder, as to be expected! The weight of my belly pulls me awkwardly, and my hips, back and legs ache to where I'm tossing and turning literally all night. Sorry Christian! Also I somehow made it this far into the pregnancy without having to wake up and pee in the middle of the night, but I am no longer enjoying that luxury. Instead I'm up between approximately 2 and 2:15am every single night. It's the weirdest.

Best moment of the week: 

One morning, Christian and I were locked in a tight embrace (because that's the only way to cure my morning grumpiness, but that's another story....), and the baby kicked so hard that it caught Christian by surprise and almost made him jump back haha. This of course led to jokes about ways to torture our future children by being really mushy and romantic with each other, because obviously baby boy is already bothered by it ;)

Weird pregnancy moment: 

Bladder issues. Breathing. Swollen gums. Pregnancy brain. Soreness... everywhere... all the time. The last 6 weeks has majorly kicked up the weird pregnancy stuff! I have to pee literally every 10 minutes, which is pretty inconvenient being in class and all. The baby was also sitting really high for a while, so my lungs feel crushed all the time. Church is still especially uncomfortable for some reason. I can't hardly sing the hymns either, because it takes way too much breath haha. And I've resorted to stealing soft chairs or sitting on the couch in the hall for sacrament meeting. It's whatever.

Also my head doesn't function very well these days. Pregnancy brain is SO SO real. I'm lucky I don't have any tests at the end of this semester, because I'd probably fail them all. It's the one time in my life I'm actually enjoying group projects and papers! Also can we just talk about how bad my hips hurt? Because they literally feel like they are going to crack in half when I sit for too long. And let's not even address the tail bone pain. YIKES. 

Movement: 

This baby gets the hiccups 2-5 times a day, which is super funny and cute to feel. He's also found a favorite spot to sit, which is as far to my right side as he can possible go. My belly is totally lopsided most of the time. He's been especially squirmy over the last few weeks too, which is surprisingly uncomfortable! He sticks his feet right up into my ribs, especially when I'm sitting down or eating. I've also noticed that when he gets really wiggly at night (it's a routine now ha!), I can usually lay on my side and hold my belly and he will totally calm down! I'm hoping that means this boy likes to snuggle, because his mom sure does!

Cravings: 

FOOD. Seriously though, I just want to eat all the time because I always feel starved. Not everything always sounds good, unless it's frozen fruity stuff, or chocolate milk of course. 

I probably need an IV at this point.

Anything making you queasy? 

Thankfully not much. Although, I have felt little twinges over the last few weeks when my stomach is too empty. And I dry heave every time I have to open the dishwasher because that B stinks!! Other than that, we're good ;)

What I'm looking forward to: 

I'm so excited to just hold this little baby and to see what he looks like! Every time I can feel a foot or arm through my belly, it just kills me because I want him to be here already. Looking at baby pictures of Christian is also a favorite past time of mine, and it just makes me die at the possibilities of cuteness our little guy has. I'm glad we are at the tail end of this, it's getting too exciting/uncomfortable for me to wait much longer ha ;)